The Reason Is You
by JenCala28
Summary: It's been a long time since they've seen each other, but those old feelings always come back...no matter how hard they fight it. Literati. Rating is now higher. Chapter 16 now up!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: It all belongs to the Powers That Be. I own absolutely nothing which is evident by Lorelei still being with Christopher.**

**A/N: This story will be told from two points of view, but I promise it won't be confusing. Reviews are much appreciated. **

He pulled his car over when he saw the sign. "Welcome to Stars Hollow". So innocuous, yet it provoked an entire range of feelings in him. Feelings he didn't necessarily want to have at this moment. Memories flooded his mind just from the four simple words printed on the sign. Getting off the bus that first day and taking his first look at the "perfect" little town he immediately knew he was going to hate living here. But then he met _her_. She had made it bearable. For a while, at least.

He sighed and then took a deep breath before starting his car again and pulling back on the road. As he drove into town and spotted familiar landmarks he let his thoughts drift to her, as they somehow always did. He could see her lithe form crossing the street in her Chilton school uniform as if she was really there and not just a memory from so many years ago. He saw her apparition in the gazebo intently concentrating on the book she was reading. There she was sitting on the edge of the bridge, her long legs dangling over the edge, staring up at the sky counting the stars. He saw her throwing balls to win a bear at the Winter Carnival. He could see her mesmerizing blue eyes looking up at him as if she was right in front of him. She was everywhere in this god-forsaken town.

He shook his head to clear the thoughts of her. He wasn't here to see her this time. She was out of his life. She had made that painfully clear the last time they had seen each other. He was simply here for Luke. His uncle had asked him for a favor and after all that Luke had done for him in the past, it was the least he could do. No matter how much his heart ached when he saw her, this time would be different. He would act as if she hadn't ripped his heart out in Philadelphia.

He pulled up in front of Luke's Diner and parked his car. Not the latest model, but his 2002 Toyota Camry was a far cry from the heap of crap that he'd been driving the last time he had been in town. He got out of the car, grabbed his duffel bag and headed inside.

The bell jingled over the door signaling his arrival and Luke looked up from the counter. He grinned as he saw his nephew standing awkwardly in the middle of the diner.

"Hey, Jess. I'm glad you could make it." Luke greeted.

Jess smirked and mock saluted. "Best man reporting for duty."

Rory sat on the couch, biting back laughter, as she watched her mother frantically pacing the living room floor.

"Mom, calm down. You're going to wear out the floor from all your pacing." She teased.

The elder Gilmore stopped for a moment and just stared at her daughter. "Rory, don't you see I'm freaking out here? It's not every day I get married, you know! Well, other than that first time, but that didn't exactly take, so it doesn't count." Lorelei rambled. "I have so many things to do and I swear I feel like I'm forgetting something!"

Rory got up and grabbed her mother by the shoulders and sat her down on the couch. "Mom, everything is going to be fine. The only thing that you have to worry about is looking beautiful and I know that that will come easy to you, so relax!"

Rory sank down onto the couch next to her mother as Lorelei took deep breaths and tried to relax. Rory couldn't believe this wedding was finally happening so she did understand her mother's anxiety.

Luke and Lorelei had a long and turbulent history and everyone in Stars Hollow was so happy that the couple had finally come to their senses and seen what they had all known from the beginning; they belonged together. When Lorelei had ended her brief marriage to Rory's father a few months before, Luke had wasted no time in winning her back. It wasn't very hard to do since although she'd been married to Christopher, Lorelei's heart had always belonged to Luke.

Rory snapped out of her musings when she felt Lorelei staring at her.

"What, mom?"

"If you're done daydreaming, sweets, maybe we can get back to my panic attack here."

Rory rolled her eyes as her mother threw a couch pillow at her. "Yes, ma'am. What can I do to help?"

"Well, tomorrow night is the rehearsal dinner and I know Sookie is taking care of all the food, but I was wondering what my maid of honor had planned for my last night as a single woman."

Rory smiled. "Well, I was thinking that since we already had your bachelorette party last weekend, then it could just be a mother-daughter night. We could eat tons of junk food and have a classic Coppola night with _The Godfather I, II, and III_."

"Oooh! Only if we can replay Sophia's death scene over and over again!"

She giggled. "You're the bride-to-be. Your wish is my command."

Lorelei appeared deep in thought. "Hmmm…maybe I should ask for something bigger then. Like a pony!"

The women laughed and sat back to admire Lorelei's wedding dress hanging on the banister.

"Mom, you are going to look so beautiful in that dress."

Lorelei smiled dreamily. "Thanks, sweets. I love that dress. But I can't wait to see you in yours! You are going to steal my thunder!" she teased.

"I just wish Logan could be here." Rory sighed.

Lorelei squeezed her daughter's arm in reassurance. "It's okay, honey. You know how busy he is with work right now."

Her boyfriend was a big-time business man now, much to her chagrin. She was proud that he had finally stopped wasting his time partying and had settled into his duties as the heir to the Huntzburger newspaper empire happily, but she missed spending time with him. He was out of town more often than he was in, and despite the fact that New Haven wasn't that far from New York, lately it had seemed like an ocean away to Rory.

"I know, mom. It's just that it's your wedding! My boyfriend should be with me to celebrate. My graduation is just around the corner, too. I hope he doesn't miss that."

"Oh, Rory, honey. I 'm sure Logan will be there for that." Lorelei assured.

Rory smiled. "Don't worry about it, mom. I'm fine. I know he'll be at graduation. Now back to the wedding talk!"

Lorelei's grin returned and she started rattling off the plans for the rehearsal dinner the following night and mentioned something about Luke's best man coming into town tonight.

"Who is Luke's best man, mom? It's hard to believe Luke has that many friends." Rory laughed.

Lorelei fidgeted and made a joke about even hermits having some friends before launching into another round of who was sitting where at the reception, but Rory immediately knew her mother was trying to avoid the subject.

"Okay, mom. I know something's up. Why won't you tell me who Luke's best man is?"

Lorelei sighed and looked into her daughter's eyes. "Well, honey, I've kind of been avoiding that subject for a reason. I know how great things are going for you right now and I didn't want to have you worry unnecessarily and I know how you can get. It was easier just to put it off and hope that things just worked out and that's why I haven't told you, so – "

Rory cut her rambling off. "Mom! Tell me already! It can't be that bad. I mean, is he some really hairy old guy that smells or something?" Rory laughed.

Lorelei took a deep breath. "It's Jess."

Rory stopped laughing and just sat there for a moment, digesting that piece of information. "Oh." It was all she could say.

Lorelei looked at her trying to gauge what her reaction was.

Rory sensed her mom's worry and managed a smile. "It's okay, mom. Jess and I are long over."

Her mother smiled gently at her. "Are you sure, honey? No matter how much I hated it, and Jess, I know you loved him."

Rory faked a grin. "Oh, please!" she pretended to dismiss the thought. "We were teenagers! I am completely over Jess. Remember Logan? My boyfriend of the last two years who I really love? It'll actually be nice to catch up with Jess and see how he's doing now." she lied.

Lorelei sighed with relief and walked over to her dress. "I'm so glad, honey. I don't want this to be uncomfortable for you."

"Don't worry so much. Everything is going to be fine."

Her mother picked up the satin gown covered in exquisite beading and held it up in front of her before breaking out into another dreamy grin. "I'm getting married to Luke."

Rory's happy smile belied her inner feelings. She was genuinely happy for her mother and couldn't think of a better husband for Lorelei or step-father for herself than Luke, but her heart was racing at the thought of seeing her ex-boyfriend again the next day. She knew everything was far from being okay, no matter what she said to her mother.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to GG…I can only wish.**

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate them and hope you continue to like the story. Now on to chapter 2!**

Jess woke up feeling disoriented. He opened his eyes and for a moment he felt seventeen again. Not much had changed in Luke's apartment in the last 5 years.

He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes. Well, some things had changed. Like the fourteen year old girl lying in his old bed fast asleep while he watched from the cot in the corner. He smirked to himself. His uncle having a teenage daughter was not something Jess had yet been able to fully wrap his brain around. April was actually a great kid, funny and extremely intelligent to boot, which made Luke's parentage even harder to believe. Jess had met her a couple of times now and they got along well, partially because she was also an avid reader and his little cousin loved to talk about literature with him.

He got out of bed and padded towards the bathroom, noticing that Luke was nowhere in sight.

When he emerged from his shower, April was up and glaring bleary-eyed at him.

"Did you have to take an hour in the shower, Jess?"

He smirked at her. "It's all yours now."

She rolled her eyes in a way that only a teenager can, and brushed past him and into the bathroom.

He chuckled to himself. Luke must be having a great time raising a teenager.

As if he had conjured him with his thoughts, Luke appeared in the doorway carrying two plates stacked high with pancakes.

"Mornin', Jess." He greeted as he placed one of the plates on the table in front of where Jess had just sat down. "I thought you guys might be up and hungry."

"April just went in to shower, but I'm definitely hungry." he answered his uncle.

Luke set Aprils' plate down and then sat down opposite Jess. He stared at his nephew, now 22. Even after seeing him recently, he sometimes couldn't quite believe that the confident young man in front of him, who now spoke in full sentences, was the same hoodlum who had stolen baseballs and garden gnomes and who had generally made his life a living hell just a few short years ago.

"What?" Jess asked before he took another bite of the pancakes.

Luke just grinned at him. "I'm just thinking about how much you've changed."

"Don't start getting all sentimental on me, okay?"

Luke just kept grinning at him. "I'm just proud of you, Jess."

Jess finished chewing and set his fork down. "Well, if you're going to get all weepy on me then I may as well give you something now that I was planning on giving you later."

He got up and walked over to his duffel bag and pulled something out. He walked back over to his uncle and gave it to him. "I wanted you to be the first one to have a copy."

Luke looked over the book in his hand and his grin got even bigger. "'Redemption' by Jess Mariano. Well, I'll be damned. You published another book."

Jess had resumed eating and just shrugged. "Yeah, I just got the first copies back from the printer right before I left. I thought you might want one."

"I'm so proud of you, Jess. This is amazing. You're only 22 and you already have two books published. I always knew you could do it."

Jess looked up at his uncle who was beaming at him and uncharacteristically blushed. "Thanks, Luke. That means a lot." He said awkwardly.

Luke started flipping through the first pages and began to read to himself while Jess finished his breakfast.

Suddenly Luke looked up at his nephew and just stared. "You can't be serious."

"About what?"

"You're still in love with her, aren't you?"

Jess picked up his plate and walked it over to the sink before answering. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't play dumb with me, Jess. You're still in love with Rory."

Jess shook his head. "No, I'm not. I haven't even seen her in a really long time."

Luke smiled sadly at him. "You don't have to lie to me, Jess. This dedication is to Rory. It can't be anyone else. Plus, I know first-hand how hard it is to get over a Gilmore girl."

Jess just shrugged again. "It's nothing. She just helped me through a lot and I'm thanking her. It's not a big deal."

Luke stood up and put a hand on Jess' shoulder. "I just don't want to see you get hurt. She's moved on. You're going to see her tonight and again tomorrow at the wedding. I don't want it to be hard for you."

Jess laughed dryly. "Don't worry, Uncle Luke. I won't ruin your wedding."

"That's not what I'm worried about, Jess."

"I have to go get dressed. We can resume this insane conversation later if you still feel like playing Dr. Laura."

Jess walked away leaving Luke to stare down at the dedication of the book in his hand. He shook his head sadly. Anyone who knew Jess well, and that was probably only very few people, knew that the dedication was meant for Rory. He knew that even if Jess pretended everything was fine, his heart was sure to be ripped apart again when he saw Rory tonight.

Rory was putting the finishing touches on her mascara when her cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ace." Her boyfriend's voice came over the line.

A smile lit up Rory's face. "Logan, hi."

"How's my favorite girl? All ready for the rehearsal?"

She slipped into her high-heeled black sling-backs as she answered. "I'm good, and I am now all ready to go. I really wish you could be here."

"I know, but it's impossible right now. We're just trying to tie up negotiations on those contracts I told you about and I barely had time to call you now, but I wanted to ell you to have a good time."

Rory smiled despite her disappointment. "It's alright, I guess. I just miss you."

"I miss you too, Ace. But listen, I really have to get back in there. Tell your mom I said congratulations again, ok?"

"I will. Bye, Logan."

"Bye." She heard the dial tone signal he had hung up.

Rory sighed and looked in the mirror. Her black and cream colored dress swirled around her knees and clung to her slim hips. The low neckline accentuated her delicate collarbone and Logan's latest present of a diamond circle pendant.

"Well, look who's getting vain in her old age."

Rory turned around to see her mother standing in the doorway of her bedroom, looking elegant but fun in a multi-colored print dress that accentuated her curves.

"So are you the pot or the kettle today?" she teased her mom.

Lorelei pretended to consider this. "I think I'll just be the stunning bride-to-be, thank you." She smiled. "Are you ready to go, kiddo? We have to be at the inn in a few minutes."

Rory grabbed her purse off her dresser. "All ready."

The Gilmore women left their house and got in Lorelei's jeep to drive the few blocks to the Dragonfly Inn where not only the rehearsal dinner, but the wedding was being held.

As they pulled into the parking lot, Lorelei noticed her parents' Mercedes already there.

"Oh, boy. Snickelfritz and Sourpuss beat us here." She commented.

Rory laughed. "Mom, relax. I'm sure Grandma and Grandpa are not going to care they got here first."

Lorelei just stared at her daughter as if she had sprouted horns. "Hello! Are you new?"

"Well then, come on. Let's not waste any more time sitting in the car."

They both got out of the car, but with each step she took towards the entrance to her mother's inn the butterflies in Rory's stomach grew. She knew Jess was going to be inside and facing him again was not going to be easy.

They walked into the Dragonfly and almost straight into Rory's grandparents who were hovering near the doorway.

"There you are. We were wondering when you were going to show up. It's not polite to keep your guests waiting, Lorelei." Emily Gilmore scolded.

Lorelei managed a tight smile. "I'm sorry, Mom."

"Well, let's just hope that you're not late for your own wedding tomorrow."

Rory intervened before her mother could say whatever retort she knew was on the tip of her tongue. "Grandma, Grandpa, hi." She hugged both of them.

Richard Gilmore smiled warmly at his granddaughter. "Rory, hello. My, don't my girls look lovely tonight."

Lorelei warmed at her father's compliment. "Thank you, Dad. Why don't we go on in?"

The family made its way into the living room area of the inn where the guests were mingling.

"Excuse me for a moment." Lorelei had spotted Luke and made a beeline for her fiancé.

Rory looked around as her grandparents said hello to some of Lorelei and Rory's friends they had previously met. She felt a tingle in her spine and turned around.

There he was…Jess. He stood with a drink in one hand talking to his cousin April and Andrew, the resident bookstore owner.

He looked, well to be honest, he looked amazing. He wore a dark navy suit with no tie and his white shirt was open at the neck giving him an elegant, but relaxed look. His hair was different than she remembered. It was cut short, but with bangs that looked like they had a tendency to flop over into his line of sight. He looked incredibly handsome, but it was the ease and confidence with which he spoke and moved that was leaving Rory breathless. This wasn't the Jess she had known. It was still Jess, as she could see by his trademark smirk, but this was a fully grown man standing just a few feet from her.

As if he could sense her analytical stare, he suddenly turned and their eyes met. It was as if time stood still. Her cerulean eyes met his warm brown and everything else just faded away.

He excused himself and started to walk over to where Rory stood. With every step he took, Rory's heart beat faster and the butterflies in her stomach came back full force. His eyes never left hers and although it seemed like it took hours, it was only a few seconds before Jess was standing in front of her. Her heart skipped a beat before he spoke.

"Hello, Rory."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I still own absolutely nothing except for this story.**

**A/N: Thank you so much to all those who have reviewed! Reviews are what keep me motivated to crank out the chapters faster. Just a little warning…Jess will seem a little OoC in parts of this chapter, but it's on purpose and all serves my master plan. ;-)**

Jess felt a tingle in his spine and suddenly knew without a doubt that she was there. He kept the smile on his face and pretended he was still listening to what April and Andrew were discussing, but he couldn't comprehend a word they were saying. All he could digest at the moment was that Rory was nearby. He steeled himself and then turned around.

There she was…Rory. She looked stunning. Her long brown hair was loose and curling around her shoulders and the long bangs she now wore framed her angelic face. Her dress clung to the womanly curves that now graced her slim figure. And those eyes…her beautiful cerulean eyes were staring straight into his own and it felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He could sense that despite her calm demeanor, inside she was as affected by his presence as he was by hers.

Without losing eye contact, he excused himself from the conversation he had lost track of the moment he sensed her. He gave himself a mental pep talk as he made his way over to her, every step feeling like his feet were in quicksand, until finally he stood in front of her.

"Hello, Rory."

Rory visibly let out a breath. "Hi, Jess."

He pretended to be unaffected by her nearness. "So, funny running into you here, huh?"

She laughed. "Sure, because I wouldn't be at my own mother's wedding rehearsal."

He grinned. "Yeah, well, I thought the awkwardness of the moment deserved a little joke."

She smiled softly up at him and he felt his heart contract. "It will always be like this with us, won't it?"

He just smiled in return and before he could come up with something witty to say to that loaded question her grandparents turned to her once more and gave her a look that said an introduction was merited.

Rory coughed nervously. "Um, Grandpa, Grandma, this is Jess Mariano, Luke's nephew and an old friend of mine. Jess, these are my grandparents, Richard and Emily Gilmore."

Jess shook Richard's hand. "Mr. Gilmore, I'm pleased to meet you." He then turned to her grandmother who he had met years before and was now looking at him like he crawled out of a dumpster. "Mrs. Gilmore, it's a pleasure to see you again."

Emily bristled at this. "Aren't you the young man who came to my house once with a black eye and rudely left before dinner?"

Jess chuckled. "Yes, Ma'am, I am. I apologize for that. Unfortunately I was quite the rebel when I was younger and had no qualms about being rude to people that I should have tried to impress, but thankfully I have outgrown that phase of my life."

Rory was floored at Jess' little speech, never having heard him speak so eloquently and never in her wildest dreams imagining he would actually apologize to her grandmother. Emily was stunned as well. She looked at Jess for a moment as if scrutinizing the honesty of his apology.

"Well young man, I accept your apology. You do seem to have matured somewhat." She smiled hesitantly.

"Mariano, Mariano…why do I seem to know that name?" Richard mused.

Rory hesitated for a moment. "Well, you might have heard his name because Jess and I dated when we were in high school, Grandpa."

Richard shook his head. "No, that's not it, though I do remember your grandmother telling me about that black eye incident." Richard chuckled. "I remember now. You aren't perchance the same Jess Mariano who wrote 'The Subsect', are you?"

Jess was amazed that he had heard of his book. "Yes, yes I am. How did you hear of my book?"

Richard beamed. "Heard of it? My dear boy, I read it. Several times, in fact. You have a brilliant mind, young man. It was a wonderful book."

Both Jess and Rory were speechless. Emily seemed flabbergasted that the author Richard spoke of was none other than the young hoodlum standing before her who she had warned her granddaughter about.

Jess finally managed to speak. "Thank you, Mr. Gilmore. Wow. That means a lot."

"With the right agent you could go very far in the literary world."

"Oh, I don't know about that. I'm not really into all that much publicity. My new book is being released to a much wider market, but I wouldn't agree to the book tour my publisher wanted. It seems a little too egotistical."

Richard looked at Jess with even more admiration and turned to Rory. "Rory, I have always thought you showed sound judgment and your choice in Jess as one of your friends just proves that point."

Jess hung his head in embarrassment while Rory blushed.

Richard took this as a cue to leave. "Well, Mr. Mariano, it was truly a pleasure to meet you." He clasped Jess' hand once more. "We'll leave you two to catch up."

Jess nodded to Rory's grandparents as they left and joined Luke and Lorelei.

"So that was…" Rory trailed off.

"Yeah. Exactly." They both laughed softly.

Rory looked into Jess' eyes once again. "So you wrote another book?"

His throat was suddenly dry as dust. "Uh, yeah."

"I'd love to…" Rory was interrupted by a frantic Lorelei.

"Okay, I am officially claiming to not know my parents. My mother just asked Luke if he was going to wear his baseball cap during the ceremony. He's not even wearing it now!" she cried.

Jess' laughter made Lorelei finally notice him. "Oh, Jess. Hi."

Jess smiled politely. "Hello, Lorelei."

"So I see you two are catching up." She shot Rory a meaningful look.

Rory shuffled her feet. "Yes, we've actually been trying to."

Jess sensed Rory's discomfort. "Congratulations, Lorelei. I'm glad my uncle finally came to his senses."

Lorelei looked a little taken aback at Jess comment, as if she couldn't quite believe he was saying what he did and in a full sentence nonetheless. "Well…thank you, Jess."

She looked quizzically at Rory who just shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, I think it's time to get this show on the road. Everybody's here so we should go ahead and start the rehearsal. I'll see you guys out back. "Lorelei smiled before turning to go tell the other guests.

Jess turned to Rory and gestured towards the back of the inn where the ceremony was actually going to be held. "Shall we?"

Rory managed a smile. "Let's shall."

As she walked in front of him towards the back door that would lead them to the garden he let out a shaky breath. Keeping up this nonchalant façade was going to kill him. Just being this near to her was enough to do the job.

They exited the building and walked into the early twilight towards the back of the aisle that had been created for the bridal party to walk down for the ceremony. Chairs flanked either side of the aisle and the chuppah that Luke had made for Lorelei stood at the front of the aisle. Jess couldn't figure out the chuppah part since neither Luke nor Lorelei was Jewish, but it seemed to mean something to them.

The rehearsal went smoothly and afterwards the entire group went inside to enjoy the feast that Sookie, Lorelei's best friend, business partner, and master chef, had prepared. Jess sat down at the long table next to April and across from Rory.

Throughout the meal he could feel Rory's eyes on him, but he did his best to avoid eye contact. He kept up a conversation with those around him, but acted as if the beautiful woman across from him didn't exist. He knew it was unnerving her, but he couldn't afford to look into her eyes again or he'd be lost. It was taking every ounce of willpower he had not to look at her, but it was a matter of self-preservation. He thought he had been prepared to see her again, had steeled himself for the moment, but the moment he had looked into her eyes earlier he had lost his heart to her all over again.

It was going to be a long weekend.

Rory crawled under the covers of her bed and tried to get comfortable. The rehearsal dinner had gone smoothly, but seeing Jess had really shaken her. All during her movie night with her mother after the rehearsal dinner she had thought about him. She knew it would affect her, but she hadn't realized how much until she had seen him. Just being in the same room as him had made her light-headed and her heart race. He always seemed to have that effect on her, even after all these years.

She couldn't figure out why he had pointedly ignored her during dinner after being so polite and civil to her earlier in the evening. It was as if she had somehow offended him without knowing. Maybe he still harbored resentment over her rejection of him in Philadelphia. She shook her head in silent denial as she changed positions, trying to get comfortable. That was over a year ago. How could he still be mad about that?

'You've never gotten over him leaving you during senior year.' She reminded herself.

"Okay, I can't think about this anymore. I need to get some sleep." She said out loud to herself.

They had watched all of 'The Godfather' and then fast-forwarded to the important parts in the other two parts of the trilogy because they had been so tired. True to her word though, Lorelei had replayed the Sophia death scene at least 4 times. Rory was exhausted physically, but her mind was too riled up to sleep.

She rolled over and looked at the clock. 1:00 am. She needed to be up by no later than 9:00 am to start getting ready, but she knew she wouldn't be falling asleep anytime soon.

She got out of bed and pulled on her sneakers and a sweater over her t-shirt and sweatpants and climbed out her bedroom window so as not to wake her mother with the sound of the front door. Anytime she couldn't sleep, just sitting on the bridge helped her relax.

As she made her way to the bridge she relished the quiet of Stars Hollow at that late hour. She stepped onto the bridge and she started as she realized that someone else was there.

She recognized him even in the darkness. He sat with his legs dangling over the creek and she finally realized why the bridge had always been a place of relaxation for her. It was theirs. This bridge was where they always had come to be alone, to get away from everyone who judged their relationship, the town princess and the hoodlum. This was where most of their relationship had played out. This is where she felt closest to him.

"Are you going to come over or just stand there all night?" his voice cut through her thoughts.

She walked over to where he sat and settled in next to him. Neither said a word for a few minutes, both lost in their own thoughts.

Rory finally broke the silence. "Couldn't sleep?"

He nodded. "Luke's snoring is enough to wake the dead and it was hard to fall asleep after he started that racket. You?"

"Yeah, just thinking about tomorrow." She lied.

They sat in silence for a while before Jess spoke again.

"So, how's your boyfriend?"

She sighed. "Logan's fine."

"Is Ritchie Rich excited about attending a small town wedding?" He couldn't resist the jab.

"Well…" Rory hesitated. "He can't make it. He has some business that he has to take care of and he's tied up in New York."

"Huh."

"Jess, stop it."

"All I said was huh, Rory."

"I know what you said, but what you meant was something totally different." She reasoned.

"Wow, so they teach you mind-reading at Yale now? That's pretty impressive."

This was the smart-ass Jess she knew. "No, Jess. I know you and how you think."

He laughed. "No, Rory. You used to know me. You don't know me at all anymore."

The silence returned as she realized he was right. She knew the teenage Jess, not the man he had become.

"Look Rory, I didn't come here to argue with you. I actually brought something with me in case I ran into you out here."

She looked at him questioningly as he held out a book to her.

"How did you know I would be here?" she asked.

He smiled sadly, "I know you. You never change in some aspects, Rory, no matter how much time has passed."

She accepted the book and his answer. The moonlight was enough for her to make out the title of the book.

"'Redemption' by Jess Mariano." She read aloud, and then turned to him excitedly. "It's your new book!"

He nodded.

She tried to look through it but the moonlight wasn't enough to make out the print inside. "Can I take this home with me and read it?"

"It's yours. Keep it."

She flashed him a smile. "Thank you. I can't wait to read it. I'm going to go home now and start."

Jess laughed again. "Don't you think it's a little late? I promise you it's not that good. You can definitely wait."

She stood up and held the book to her chest. "Stop it. I loved your last book. I know I'll love this one. You're a brilliant writer, Jess."

He looked down at the creek and didn't answer.

She turned to walk away. "I'll see you in the morning and tell you how much I loved it."

She thought she heard him whisper "I hope you do" as she walked away, but she wasn't sure because it was spoken so softly.

When she had made it back to her mother's house, she climbed back through her window and settled in her bed to read. She flipped through the first couple of pages naming the publishers and the copyright laws and landed on the dedication page. As she read, a lump grew in her throat and her eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill over.

_To the girl who gave me a reason. I never thought song lyrics could mean so much, especially by this band, but I think they say it better than I ever could._

_I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know_

_  
I've found a reason for me  
to change who I used to be  
a reason to start over new  
and the reason is you_

_  
I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear_

_  
I've found a reason for me  
to change who I used to be  
a reason to start over new  
and the reason is you._

_You gave me a reason when I didn't think I would ever have one. Thank you. You know who you are._

Rory clutched the book to her chest and let the tears fall freely down her face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I still own absolutely nothing in regards to Gilmore Girls, except for this story. **

**A/N: Thank you so much to all of you who have reviewed. You have no idea how much it means to me. That said, keep them coming!**

_He got up from the bridge, and turned to walk back towards Luke's. If he was lucky he might be able to get in a few hours of sleep before he had to get ready for the wedding. _

_He heard the footsteps before they got too close and whirled around to confront whoever was following him._

"_Rory?" _

_She stood looking lost, clutching his book to her chest, tears streaming down her face._

_He moved towards her, taken aback by her disheveled appearance and the lost look in her eyes. "Are you okay?"_

"_It's me, isn't it?" she whispered. _

_He hesitated although he knew exactly what she was referring to. "What's you, Rory?"_

"_The dedication, Jess. It's to me." _

_He couldn't look her in the eye. "I, uh…" he stammered._

"_Jess, please for once be honest with me." She pleaded._

_He took a deep breath and looked her right in the eye. "Yes. Yes, the dedication is to you."_

_Rory closed her eyes for a moment as if to digest the confirmation of what she had already suspected. After what felt like an eternity to Jess, she opened here eyes and looked straight into his own. "Why me?"_

_Jess chuckled softly. "Why you?" He looked down at his feet because he couldn't stand the utter turmoil in her eyes any longer. "It's always been you. Every day, all day, always…it's you. It will always be you. No matter what –"he was cut off by Rory launching herself into his arms._

_Her lips found his and it overwhelmed his senses. He felt himself respond, but knew he had no control over it. It was as if his body moved of its' own volition, spellbound by her proximity._

_Rory wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer as his arms tightened around her waist. This kiss was like no other they had ever shared. The sheer desperation of it was leaving them both breathless. There was no awkwardness, no adjusting to the other. Their bodies had memorized each other long ago and because of the long absence, it felt like coming home._

_Rory broke the kiss first, still clinging to him, her chest heaving against his. Jess rested his forehead against hers and ran his hands up and down her spine, trying to catch his breath. "What are you doing, Rory?" he breathed._

_Her eyes met his and she whispered, "Thinking with my heart for once."_

_Tears spilled over once again and Jess wiped them away gently with his thumb. "Don't cry... there's nothing to cry about."_

"_We've lost so much time being stupid." _

"_Shhh…we won't let that happen again. I'm not letting you go this time, Rory." He assured before capturing her lips in a slow, sensual kiss._

"_I love you, Jess. I've never stopped." She murmured against his lips. "It's always been you." _

_He tightened his grip on her, his heart swelling at her words. "I love you so much, Rory."_

_He heard someone behind him, but didn't care, even when they began to call his name. The voice became more insistent, but he just tightened his grip on her, not wanting to let go. Rory's hands dug into his back as if trying to keep him close, as well._

"_I don't want you to go, Jess." She murmured into his neck._

"_I don't want to." He clenched his eyes shut as if to block out what he knew was inevitable._

"It's time to get up, Jess."

Rory's voice didn't sound like her own anymore and he opened his eyes. Luke was standing over him and he looked concerned.

"God, Jess! I thought you'd never wake up!" Luke exclaimed. "I've been calling you for at least five minutes."

Jess sat up slowly and looked at the pillow he had been clenching, his knuckles white with the exertion. "It was just a dream." He muttered.

"You okay, Jess? You had me worried there."

Jess ran a hand through his hair absently and shook his head as if to shake the images of the dream. "I'm fine. I was just tired."

Luke gave him a funny look, but then shrugged. "Okay, if you say so. It's time to get up though. We have to start getting ready."

"No problem."

Jess got up and put the pillow down as his uncle walked away. He went into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on his face and then looked into the mirror above the sink.

His eyes were bloodshot and there were dark circles under his eyes. He let out a low laugh. "Of course it was just a dream."

Rory zipped the back of her mother's dress up and stepped back as Lorelei turned around.

"So, how do I look?"

Rory stared at her mother in awe. Lorelei's cream colored satin dress was strapless, the bodice beaded with tiny iridescent pearls until it flared out slightly in a cloud of organza with a chapel train. Her hair was gathered in an elegant twist with soft tendrils curling around her face and crowned by a diamond tiara. She looked beautiful, but it was the glow of happiness radiating from her that made her look breathtaking.

"Wow. Mom, I don't think I have ever seen you look more beautiful."

Lorelei smiled at her daughter. "You don't look so bad yourself there, hon."

Rory looked into the full length mirror and saw how perfectly the bridesmaid's dress her mother had made suited her. Her satin dress had an empire waist and simple spaghetti straps with a delicate beading around the top of the bodice. The sapphire blue color brought out her eyes, but thankfully made the bleariness in them from lack of sleep less evident.

A knock came on the door of the room they were using in the inn to get ready. "Come in." Lorelei called.

Sookie came in wearing a dress very similar to Rory's except for the silk wrap around her shoulders. She stopped when she saw Lorelei. "Oh my God! Lorelei, you look stunning!" she cried.

Lorelei beamed. "Thanks, Sookie."

"Okay, now let's get serious here. Do you have something new, something borrowed, something old, and something blue?"

Rory and Lorelei giggled. "Well, let's see my garter is blue and my tiara is borrowed from my mother. My dress is new and these earrings were my grandmother's so I guess that means they're old, so yup, I'm covered."

Sookie giggled and snapped a quick picture of Lorelei and Rory. "Okay girls, I'm out of here. I'll let everybody know you're almost ready." She blew them both a kiss and left.

Rory turned back to her mother and smiled. "Are you ready to get married, Mom?"

Lorelei beamed at her. "I don't think I've ever been more ready for anything, honey. Luke's the one."

Rory smiled. "I'm so glad you guys finally found your way back to each other."

"Me, too." She studied her daughters' face. "Are you okay, honey? You seem a little off."

Rory looked down quickly before meeting her mother's eyes. "I'm fine. I just didn't get much sleep last night."

"Why not, sweetie?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I was reading a really good book, is all." She didn't want to mention the book was written by Jess or the strange dream she'd had about Jess that was still haunting her.

Before Lorelei could say anything else another knock came on the door. "Come in." Lorelei called again.

Richard Gilmore entered and closed the door behind him. He turned and looked at his daughter and tears welled up in his eyes. "You look beautiful, Lorelei."

Lorelei smiled softly, tears gathering in her own eyes at her father's unusual show of emotion. "Thank you, daddy."

He stepped closer to them and complimented Rory as well. "Rory, I don't think it's quite fair to the bride to look so lovely today."

Rory blushed. "Thanks, Grandpa."

Richard smiled at her and then turned back to Lorelei. "Are you about ready?"

"Yes, we are." She stepped towards him and the doorway. "Are you ready to give me away?"

Richard stopped for a moment. "No, I'm really not."

Lorelei impulsively hugged her father. "Oh, Daddy."

Rory blinked back her own tears at the unexpected affection she hadn't thought she would witness between them. "Okay, you two. It's time to go."

As they made their way out to the back door of the inn where the bridal party was gathering, the butterflies returned to Rory's stomach. The dedication in Jess' book had touched her immensely. She knew it was meant for her. But it was the vivid dream she had of Jess afterwards that had shaken her to the very core. If she closed her eyes she could still feel his soft lips on hers.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the commotion of the wedding party around her as everyone quickly got in the order they would walk down the aisle. Sookie and Jackson were first and already at the head of the line. Her mother was standing behind her with Richard at her side. She looked around for her own partner and came face to face with Jess as he made his way towards her.

Her heart clenched as his eyes met hers. "Ready, Miss Maid of Honor?" He teased.

She tucked her arm through his and the physical contact sent a shock of electricity through her body. She took a deep breath.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing related to Gilmore Girls…other than my DVD's of course.**

**A/N: You guys rock. Thank you so much for the reviews. I know some people hated me for that dream sequence in the last chapter, but remember that all good things come to those who wait. That said, I see LOTS of people are reading the story, but not that many are reviewing. Your opinion greatly matters and reviews are much appreciated. Now, on to the wedding!**

Jess tried to concentrate on the aisle ahead of him, instead of the sparks of electricity running through his body from the feel of Rory's arm linked through his own. He saw Sookie and Jackson just making their way to the head of the aisle as he and Rory stepped onto the aisle runner to make their own way down. He glanced at the people on either side of the aisle, some he recognized, some he didn't, in order to avoid thinking about her.

Rory squeezed his arm and he turned to glance at her. She gave him a soft smile and his heart skipped a beat. They made it to the altar and she slipped her arm out of his as they both turned away from each other to stand in their appointed spots.

The music swelled as Lorelei and her father began their walk up the aisle and he smiled despite himself at the happiness on Lorelei's face. He glanced at Luke and saw the same expression of bliss mirrored on his uncle's face.

They had been through so much, even failed marriages to other people, and yet they had found their way back to each other. He let his thoughts drift and lost his ironclad resolve to not think of Rory. Could they make their way back to each other?

As Richard handed Lorelei off to Luke and they stepped under the chuppah where Reverend Skinner was waiting, he chanced a look at Rory. Instead of looking at her mother as he supposed she would have been, she was staring back at him. Boldly, they held each other's glance as the ceremony began.

Though he heard the eloquent words the Reverend spoke, he had no idea what was being said. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Rory's if his life depended on it. He didn't remember her being so bold, but always blushing and looking away when he had looked her in the eye for too long as if she couldn't stand the intensity she saw in his eyes. Not this time. He couldn't place the emotion he saw lurking in their depths. Longing? Fear? It seemed to be a combination of both.

"And I now pronounce you man and wife. Lucas, you may kiss your bride." The Reverend's words broke through his thoughts and he shifted his glance to the bride and groom just as their kiss sealed their new union.

"I am happy to present to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Danes." The announcement caused a loud cheer and elicited a few cries of "Finally!" from the guests.

His uncle and Lorelei glowed with happiness as they made their way down the aisle and he realized he had to walk Rory back down the aisle.

He moved towards her and noticed that her shyness had returned and she refused to meet his eyes as she linked her arm through his again. "You okay?" he whispered as they walked towards Luke and Lorelei in the back.

She strained a smile, but still didn't look at him. "I'm fine, just happy for mom and Luke."

They finally reached the happy couple and Rory let go of him to hug her mother and new step-father. He surprised Luke by hugging him and then hung back as he turned to Lorelei.

"Oh, stop it, Jess. You're my nephew now!" Lorelei teased and surprised him by enveloping him in a quick hug.

"Congratulations." He smirked after Lorelei released him, and then the realization of what she had just said hit him.

He looked at Rory and the look of shock on her face said that her mother's statement had made her realize the same thing. "We're cousins, now?" she choked out as he looked at him.

Luke and Lorelei burst out laughing. "Sorry, hon. I didn't mean to make you related to your ex-boyfriend." Lorelei laughed.

Jess slowly shook his head as people began to surround them, all wanting to congratulate the newlyweds. "Great. Just when I thought my family couldn't get any weirder."

Rory took the drink the bartender gave her and sipped it slowly as she made her way back to her table. The reception was in full swing and everyone seemed to be having a good time. _Hep Alien_ was playing in the background, much to her grandmother's chagrin, but Lorelei had insisted on them and not the string quartet her mother had suggested. She loved their music and their drummer, Lane, was special to Lorelei as she had been her daughter's best friend for as long as she could remember.

Rory stopped to briefly say hello to several people as she made her way to her own table, but looked up when she felt someone's gaze on her. Jess. He sat at a table surrounded by his mother, step-father, and baby sister, the former two involved in a lively discussion about the Renaissance Faire circuit with Ms. Patty and Babbette. But, his eyes were trained on her and she felt herself flush as she met his gaze.

"It's time for the toasts, ladies and gentleman!" Lane's voice interrupted from the stage. "Can I please have the Maid of Honor and Best Man up here?"

She saw Jess stand up as she made her way to the stage and felt him fall in step behind her as she reached Lane and the microphone she handed her.

She saw her mother and Luke make their way to the front of the crowd just at the foot of the stage and she took a deep breath before beginning. "When I was a little girl, there was a grumpy man who I saw every day because he fed me. My mother has never known how to cook, so eating at that man's diner was a daily ritual. He bought me birthday presents, made me coffee cakes, and served me an endless amount of coffee even though he hated my coffee drinking, not to mention the infamous Gilmore eating habits." She paused as the crowd laughed. "I knew this man for most of my life and he was always special to me and to my mother. But, the entire town knew before they did just how special they were to each other. He and my mother have been through a lot to get here and I am so happy that they finally got to this day where we can all celebrate the love they share." Rory raised her glass. "So this is to my mother, who is my best friend, my confidante, and the person I love most in this world…and to Luke. You've always been like a father to me and I am thrilled that you are finally my step-father. I love you both. Cheers!"

As everyone clinked glasses and drank to the toast, Rory made her way to her mother and Luke. Lorelei hugged her tightly and she stepped back to look at Luke who had tears in his eyes. "Luke, you old softie." She teased as he hugged her.

Luke pulled back and wiped his tears away quickly. "Thank you, Rory, thank you."

She opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by someone clearing their throat over the microphone. She turned around and saw Jess preparing to make his speech.

"I didn't really get to know my uncle until I was 17 and came to live with him. Most of you remember that I wasn't exactly a pleasure to be around, and frankly I earned the reputation of town hoodlum. My uncle never gave up on me though, no matter what I threw at him. He stood by me, determined that I make something out of myself and I did, thanks largely in part to him. Lorelei, though, saw me for what I was, a rebel without a clue." Lorelei and the guests all laughed at that. "And I didn't have a clue, not when it came to what really mattered." Rory felt herself blush as he looked at her briefly. "Thankfully though, she gave me a chance. I knew from the moment I saw her and Luke together that although neither of them might have known it, they had feelings for each other. I'm happy they both finally realized the gift they have in each other and I hope they treasure their love and each other for the rest of their days. To Luke and Lorelei, my uncle and new aunt, may the rest of your lives be filled with love, happiness, and each other." Jess raised his glass and drank before coming to briefly hug her mother and Luke.

Rory went back to the bar before he pulled away from Luke. She knew she couldn't talk to him right now with her thoughts running wild. She'd never heard him speak as eloquently as he just had during the speech or last night with her family. This new Jess was hard for her to wrap her mind around. He was grown up now, a man, and it blew her away although she knew they had both done a lot of growing up. She wasn't used to his walls being down as often as they now were, not having the need to protect himself as he once had.

Her eyes found him in the crowd, talking to his cousin and her new step-sister, April, and she felt her heart skip a beat as she took in his appearance. His tux was elegantly tailored to mold to his body perfectly, a body that was now taut with clearly defined muscles she didn't remember from their youth and could make out even in his formalwear. The moonlight gleamed off the contours of his finely chiseled face and her breath caught at his masculine beauty. He unconsciously pushed his bangs out of his eyes and she gulped down the last of her latest martini as she felt her thoughts turn to the rippling of muscle his gesture had caused.

The band was taking a break and music played out of the CD player they had set up. She started to make her way to talk to Lane and her husband Zach who were rocking their infant twin sons to sleep at a side table, when the song changed. The first notes of the song registered in Rory's mind and her gaze was immediately drawn to Jess. As their eyes met and held, Rory fought back the urge to run into his arms, but slowly made her way towards him. His gaze never faltered, meeting her own directly.

She stopped in front of him and she swallowed her fear. "I think this is our song."

She heard his sharp intake of breath and for a moment was afraid she had jumped to the wrong conclusion. But, his answering smirk held all the knowledge she needed to know.

"I think it is." He said softly before leading her out onto the dance floor.

His right arm encircled her waist while his other hand captured hers. She felt her heart race and thought he could surely feel it thumping through her chest as she leaned into him. He held their joined hands firmly against his chest and looked deep into her eyes as the lyrics floated in the air around them.

_I'm not a perfect person_

_There's many things I wish I didn't do_

_But I continue learning_

_I never meant to do those things to you_

_And so I have to say before I go_

_That I just want you to know_

_I've found a reason for me_

_To change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over new_

_and the reason is you_

"Jess…"

He closed his eyes briefly. "You don't have to say it, Rory. I know you read the dedication."

"I did and I just wanted to tell you that…"

He cut her off again. "It's okay, I know it was stupid of me and I shouldn't have done it. You're happy with Logan and I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I wanted to try and get in the middle of that. You made the fact that we were over very clear when you came to Philly."

She looked into his eyes again and briefly saw the hurt and longing there before his walls came back up. She felt her heart clench with the knowledge that she was the reason for his pain.

"I'm sorry, Jess."

He laughed softly. "There's nothing to be sorry about. It's us, you know. We are what we are. Nothing will change that."

Those were almost the same words he had said to her that night in Philadelphia when she had tried to use him to get back at Logan for cheating on her. She shuddered at the memory of her coldness and he mistook the meaning.

"Are you cold?" He pulled her closer to him and ran his hand up and down her spine to warm her up.

She felt a jolt of electricity at his caress and closed her eyes as she let his nearness wash over her. He had always made her feel this way, this combination of exhilaration and heat that only he could bring about. She opened her eyes again and met his concerned look.

_I'm sorry that I hurt you_

_It's something I must live with everyday_

_And all the pain I put you through_

_I wish that I could take it all away_

_And be the one who catches all your tears_

_That's why I need you to hear_

_I've found a reason for me_

_To change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over new_

_and the reason is you._

They swayed gently to the music, oblivious to their surroundings, letting the lyrics say what they most wanted to, but were too afraid to speak aloud. Rory rested her head on his shoulder and felt him rest his cheek on her forehead. Just standing there, encircled by his arms and feeling his warmth was enough. She had missed him so much and had never allowed herself to feel it completely, always pushing every thought of him away. She let all her own walls tumble down as she breathed in his scent and felt tears prick her eyelids at the happiness she felt merely dancing in his arms.

She lifted her head slightly to look at him and as their eyes met, she heard a voice in her head say, 'It's him, and it's always been him.'

"Rory, I…" Jess began

She pulled her hand free from his and put a finger to his lips. "Jess, shhh…" she traced his lips softly with her finger and then ran her hand to his cheek. He stared at her, barely breathing, thinking that if he moved she might stop and realize what a mistake she was making.

She snaked her arm behind his neck and pulled his head down towards her own, Jess stopping her only when their lips were inches apart, a questioning look in his eyes.

"Listen. " She whispered in answer.

_I've found a reason to show_

_A side of me you didn't know_

_A reason for all that I do_

_And the reason is you_

She saw the realization dawn in his chocolate eyes and the flash of tenderness in them before he lowered his head the rest of the way and their lips finally met.

The kiss was tentative at first, soft and gentle, each in awe at the feelings the other provoked. Rory tangled her fingers in his hair, relishing the feel of the silky strands beneath her fingers. He tightened his hold on her as she gave in to the overwhelming need for him and deepened the kiss.

Neither realized that the music had stopped and that they were utterly alone on the dance floor as the guests looked on at the display of pent-up raw emotion. They clung to each other as if for dear life, oblivious to those around them.

A short distance away, Lorelei grabbed Luke's arm and turned him in the direction of Rory and Jess. They stared at the couple on the dance floor in silence, stunned at the spectacle they were witnessing.

Jess broke the kiss first and pulled back slightly and searched her eyes, as if to assure himself that what had just happened was real and not just another dream.

She smiled softly, still clinging to him. He slowly returned her smile and bent to kiss her again when she heard the unmistakable sound of glass breaking behind her.

They turned towards the noise, never breaking contact until Rory saw what had caused the interruption.

"Logan." She breathed.

She immediately let go of Jess and just stared helplessly at her boyfriend. Logan stood at the edge of the dance floor with a look of disgust and utter shock on his face. The shattered beer bottle lay at his feet. He looked at Rory, then Jess, then back at Rory before shaking his head slowly and turning to walk away.

"Logan, wait!" Rory cried and made to go after him.

Jess grabbed her hand and stopped her. "Rory?" His eyes seemed to ask a million questions and her heart ached for what she was about to do.

"I can't Jess, I can't…I have to go after him." She pleaded.

His walls were up again, but not before she saw the gut-wrenching pain in the depths of his eyes. He released her hand and with one last look at him, she ran after Logan.

Lorelei stood off to the side as the band came back on, trying to cover up the tense moments they had all just witnessed. She put her hand on Luke's arm to stop him as he made a move towards Jess.

"What?" Luke asked as he turned to her.

"Leave him be."

"Why? He just had his heart ripped out publicly and he's just standing there."

"Exactly. As soon as he snaps out of it, he's going to realize it and run. He won't want anyone around."

Luke sighed helplessly as he watched his nephew stand alone in the middle of the dance floor staring after Rory, pain etched in every one of his features.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing related to Gilmore Girls, but if someone wants to gift wrap Milo for me, I have no objections. ;-)**

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who is reading this and a special thanks to those who have read AND reviewed. Your comments mean a lot to me. **

Jess watched Rory run after Logan and he felt her dragging his heart behind her. Just a few moments before it had seemed as if everything was finally falling into place, her emphasis on the lyrics, her kiss. He had looked into her eyes and could have sworn he saw the same love and desire that he knew were mirrored in his own. Then Logan showed up.

Jess shook his head as if to clear the memory and suddenly realized he was still on the dance floor…all alone. He looked around quickly and saw that almost everyone was staring at him, some with sympathy, others just confused as to what had just happened before their very eyes.

He saw Luke and Lorelei standing off to the side and he felt the rush of humiliation over what they had just witnessed. He had let his guard down when it came to Rory and it had bit him in the ass. He knew he should never have let her get to him, but he couldn't avoid it when just the very thought of her made his heart ache.

Someone was already cleaning up the bits of broken glass and yet all he could do was stand there. He came to his senses a moment later as anger surpassed all his other emotions.

'How dare she?' He thought. 'Does she really think she can string me along and just turn to me whenever that rich-boy bastard isn't around or hurts her?'

He stormed off the dance floor towards the direction she had gone. He tore his tuxedo jacket off in the process and flung it at a nearby table as he passed. People quickly got out of his way when they saw the blind fury in his eyes. Luke called after him, but Jess refused to acknowledge him.

He slowed down when he reached the parking lot and heard voices yelling. He saw Rory and Logan in the middle of the parking lot, standing just a few feet from each other. He stopped just out of their line of sight.

"I can't believe you, Rory!" Logan yelled.

Rory was crying. "I'm sorry, Logan, I'm so sorry."

."What, you think one apology is going to fix it? When you said I cheated on you, I thought we were broken up. I truly thought we were not together! You can't say that about this!"

Rory's cries grew louder. "I know…it just happened. I don't know why! Please, you have to believe I didn't mean to hurt you!"

Logan laughed dryly. "Or is that you didn't think I was going to find out?" He was pacing in circles. "I told you I wasn't going to be able to make it so you figured it was alright to have some fun with your ex-boyfriend?"

"No, it wasn't like that, I swear."

"Then what was it like, Ace? I can't believe I was so excited because I managed to wrap everything up early and was coming down to surprise you! I put a little damper on your plans, didn't I?"

"Logan, please!" Rory sobbed. "It just happened, it wasn't planned. It was only a kiss!"

"And what? If I hadn't shown up you would have ended up in bed with him again?" He practically snarled.

"No, it's not like that with Jess! I've never slept with him!"

"You expect me to believe that? You two were all over each other on that dance floor!"

"Please, Logan! I'm so sorry, you have to believe me!"

Logan just stood there and stared at Rory, his chest heaving with anger. Rory's sobs continued and even though she'd hurt him again, Jess hated to see her like that.

Logan must have sensed him there because he suddenly turned and glared at Jess. "Ah, if it isn't the infamous Book-Boy himself!"

Jess stepped out of the shadows and came closer to the couple. Rory's breath caught as she looked at Jess. He knew she didn't want him to see her like this, tears streaming down her face, frantically begging her boyfriend for forgiveness.

"So, what did you come out here for, Book-Boy? Are you checking to see if she still has a boyfriend or does the fact that she's with me not bother either one of you?"

"I see your intellect hasn't improved any and neither has your originality. Did you come up with 'book-boy' all on your own?" Jess retorted.

"Already resorting to insults as if you were the victim here…that's kind of funny. You still didn't answer my question." Logan took a few steps towards him, but Jess stood his ground.

Rory, sensing that both men were riled up enough to start swinging, stepped between both of them and faced Logan. "Logan, don't."

The smile that appeared on Logan's face did nothing to calm her nerves. "Are you worried that I might hurt your precious Book-Boy? Or is he too much of a wimp to stand up to me himself?"

"Logan, stop…you two don't need to fight, we can work things out. Please." She pleaded.

Jess could hear Rory's voice breaking as another sob built in her throat. No matter what, he couldn't stand to see her in so much pain.

"Listen, it just happened. We both got carried away with nostalgia, but that's it. It really was just a kiss." Jess lied calmly.

Logan just stared at Rory, then Jess. "That's all it was?"

Jess swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yes, that's all it was."

Logan nodded curtly at him and turned to Rory. "So, are you going to lie to me, too?"

Jess narrowed his eyes. "What the fuck are you taking about?"

"I saw the look on your faces when you saw me standing there…especially yours. It wasn't just some random kiss for you." Logan spat. "You're so in love with her you can't see straight."

Jess remained silent, for once not knowing what to say, and Logan turned back to Rory. "Tell me you'll never speak to him again. Promise me you'll never see him again."

Rory just stared at Logan and for once Jess couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"I can't do that, Logan. He's my step-father's nephew; of course I'll see him again." Rory said softly.

Jess watched the emotions play across Logan's face. "You know where to find me when you come to your senses, Ace." With that he turned around and walked to his car.

Rory stood rooted to the spot just watching him walk away until Jess came up to her and put his hand on her arm. "Don't touch me!" she cried shaking his hand off.

Jess staggered back as if she'd slapped him.

"Don't you see he's still here? I can't let him see you touch me!"

"Funny, but you sure didn't seem to mind my touching you just a few minutes ago on the dance floor." Jess snapped back.

Rory turned to look him in the eye. He'd never seen her look so broken, so confused. "I'm so sorry, Jess. I, I…I don't know what came over me."

"When, Rory? When you got together with an ass like Logan or out on the dance floor when you were leading me on?"

"Jess, I…Logan's not an ass." She stammered. "I…never meant to lead you on. I'm with Logan. You knew that."

Jess shook his head in disgust. "Yeah, you were with Dean once, too. I guess I'm just the one you turn to and kiss whenever things aren't going right with your current boyfriend."

Rory gasped. "You know that's not it, Jess!"

"Do I? What am I supposed to think, Rory? I pour my heart out to you in that book never expecting you to return my feelings, but then you seem to and you kiss me! Then the second your blond dick boyfriend shows up you push me away as if I'm trash! What the fuck am I supposed to think?" He yelled.

Rory closed her eyes as if to block out his words. "I was in love with you, Jess." She whispered.

"Was, huh? How do you feel about me now, Rory? I want you to tell me."

Rory opened her eyes and just looked at him. She took in his angry stance and the fury in his eyes, but she also saw the deep hurt she had caused yet again lurking in their depths. He had taken off his jacket at some point and his chest was heaving, the muscles rippling beneath the thin shirt. His hair was tousled and partly hanging in his eyes. She had never seen him look more handsome.

"Answer me, Rory. I want to know once and for all. Is it the blonde dick or is it me?"

"Jess, please…don't do this to me."

"I don't deserve this, Rory. "

"I know you don't. Please just understand, I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

His breathing slowed and he just stared at her. "I guess I have my answer then." He turned to leave and she grabbed his arm to stop him, but he shook her off. "No, Rory, don't. You just made your decision."

"Jess…" she cried.

He turned back to face her one last time. The look in her eyes almost broke him. "I hope you'll be happy." He turned and walked away quickly before his resolve broke and he gathered her in his arms to comfort her.

Rory watched him walk away and her sobs grew louder. What had she done? She loved Logan. Why had it felt so right to be in Jess' arms and to feel his lips on hers? Was it like the little voice in her head kept nagging and she was still in love with Jess and not Logan? She had never been so confused. The only thing she knew was that she had just seen the two men who mattered most to her walk away from her and she had no clue what to do about it.

She couldn't believe this had all happened at her mother's reception. 'Oh my God! Mom!' she thought. What could her mother, and everyone else for that matter, think of what she had done tonight?

She knew she needed to get back to the reception for her mother's sake, but she also knew she looked and felt awful and didn't want to face anyone. She snuck back towards the inn without anyone seeing her and went in to do what she could about fixing her appearance. By the time she came out and headed back to the reception, most of the guests were leaving.

Lorelei spotted her immediately and rushed over to her. "Honey, are you ok?" she asked worriedly.

Rory forced a tight smile. "I'm fine, Mom. I'm so sorry for causing so much drama at your wedding."

'Oh, honey, don't worry about it. It wouldn't be a Gilmore event if it wasn't strife with drama. "Lorelei chuckled softly. "I just want to know how you're doing."

Rory shrugged. "I'm alright, I guess."

Lorelei studied her daughter's face. "Rory, what happened with Jess out there?"

Rory laughed dryly, but couldn't keep the pain out of her voice. "You saw what happened…everyone saw what happened."

"That's not what I meant. Yes, I saw you kissing him, but I also saw how you two were looking at each other and holding each other. Are you still in love with him, Rory?"

She didn't say anything for a moment. She knew she couldn't lie to her mother. "I don't know…I really don't know."

"What about Logan?"

Rory sighed. "I don't know about him either, Mom."

Lorelei wrapped her arms around her daughter in a tight hug. "I am so sorry you're going through this, honey. I wish I didn't have to leave soon, but Luke and I will miss our plane."

Rory stepped back from her mother's embrace. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I'll figure things out. I just want you to have a great honeymoon."

"I hope so, honey. Listen to your heart. I forgot to listen to it once and it took me away from Luke. I don't want you to make the same mistake. Whichever man it is, Logan or Jess, just make sure that it's what your heart wants." Lorelei hugged her daughter one more time before walking away.

Rory sat down at the nearest empty table. Her heart. She thought she knew what her heart wanted, but then Jess had walked back into her life and complicated things. Why did he always have that effect on her? Was Jess who she truly wanted to be with?

She sighed and leaned back in her chair. Logan wasn't perfect, she knew that. But they had been together for two years and for the most part, things had been great. He made her feel special and treated her like a queen. She knew her mother wouldn't approve of this line of thought because Logan represented everything her mother had run away from. But Rory couldn't help it if she liked the things his money could buy. It felt nice to be pampered occasionally, taken to exclusive restaurants and given expensive gifts. She hadn't grown up in that world of exclusive wealth and the glimpses she caught of it by being with Logan didn't look so bad to her. Her relationship with Logan wasn't easy, but it had fallen into a predictable pattern that she had learned to live with and enjoy. He made her laugh and look at the lighter side of life and as uptight as she knew she could be occasionally, she needed that.

Then there was Jess. She couldn't deny that his mere presence in a room made her heart race. There was something about him that drew her to him inexplicably, whether she wanted it to or not. Their relationship had been tumultuous at best, but the good times had been so wonderful that they far outweighed anything that had gone wrong. She couldn't be angry at him anymore for all the pain he had caused her because now, so many years later, she had hurt him far worse. First, that night in Philadelphia when she had welcomed his kiss and then pushed him away. She had told him that she loved Logan and seen the agony in his eyes at her declaration of love for another man. Then tonight she had led him on and done almost the exact same thing yet again.

Being in his arms tonight had felt so right. That kiss was seared in her mind and she could still feel the intensity behind it…on both their parts. Had she really led him on? She had initiated the kiss, desperately wanting to feel his lips on hers again. She had to be honest with herself once and for all. She loved Jess…had never actually stopped loving him. He was never far from her thoughts even when she was with Logan. There were times she ached to hear his voice so desperately that she found herself dialing his number before she realized what she was doing and would hang up before the call could go through.

Logan and Jess…they were so different from each other, yet she cared about both of them. Jess had asked her to decide between them and Logan had told her to find him when she came to her senses. She had hurt them both deeply and Jess had even taken her refusal of an ultimatum as her decision. But had she really decided? How could either one of them still want her after what she had done? Could she really trade the security of being with Logan for an uncertain future with Jess?

Her head was throbbing and she knew that whatever decision she made was just going to cause more pain for someone. She just hoped that her heart could survive whatever her choice would be.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing related to Gilmore Girls, no matter how much I wish I did. ;-)**

**A/N: Thank you again to all those who have read and especially to those who have read AND reviewed this story. You guys are wonderful. Reviews are what keep me motivated and I love getting your feedback. Now on to the story!**

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Jess stuffed the last of his clothes into his duffel bag and zipped it up. He swung the bag over his shoulder and took one last look around Luke's apartment. Luke had left for his honeymoon to Jamaica with Lorelei the night before and he was glad he had the apartment to himself. He didn't think he could have withstood Luke's prodding about all the events he himself was trying hard to put out of his mind.

He walked out the door, shutting it behind him, and headed downstairs. Lane and Caesar were running the diner while Luke was gone for the week and he was glad that he didn't have to stick around to help out. The last thing he wanted was to run into _her_ again.

He was about to just leave without saying anything to anyone, but he heard Lane's voice calling him back. He turned towards her reluctantly, an excuse about having to hurry back to his publishing house ready on his lips. The look on her face and the offered cup in her hand made him walk back towards the counter.

"Tea?" he asked as he sat down and looked into the cup.

Lane smiled. "Yeah, I know you aren't exactly the coffee drinker."

He flinched at the unconscious remark about Rory. "Thanks." He mumbled quickly before taking a sip.

He could feel Lane's stare as she leaned on the counter in front of him. "What do you want to know, Lane?" He didn't look up from his tea.

"Honestly?"

He nodded.

"Why do you let her do this to you?"

He looked up at her in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

Lane shook her head slowly. "Look, I know she's my best friend and I love her to pieces, but I also know what she did to you last night was wrong, not to mention Philly."

"You know about Philly?" He couldn't believe Rory had actually told her.

Lane smiled sympathetically. "Yeah, she told me. I'm not taking sides; I'm not saying what you or she should do, especially since I was never your number one fan." His wry smile at that comment made her almost laugh.

"What I am saying is that I know you love her…you always have. Whether she knows it or not, she's always loved you and has never stopped, Jess. Best friends know these things." Lane waited for him to digest this piece of information.

"It doesn't matter, Lane. She made her choice last night." He finally answered.

"I don't know about that. I hate to see both of you running away from something that is so obviously there to all of those that see it."

Jess just sat there, slowly sipping his tea, trying not let Lane see how much her comments had affected him.

"Did she ever tell you what happened after you left?"

Jess laughed dryly. "Which time? The first time without a goodbye, the time I blurted out I loved her and then ran, or the time I begged her to run away with me and she refused?"

Lane smiled sadly. "You guys sure do have that unrequited love thing down pat, don't you?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Look, Jess each time you left she was a mess. She never let anyone see it but I knew what was going on. When you left the first time she tried to act as if nothing was wrong. She wouldn't really talk to anyone about you, not even Lorelei or me. But, I noticed how bloodshot her eyes were every morning as if she'd been crying all night, and even in the middle of a conversation her mind would wander and I could tell she was thinking about you."

Jess kept his eyes on his cup, trying to control the tightness in his chest. _He_ had caused Rory that pain.

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, Jess. I just want you to understand why she keeps running. It was a long time before she was anywhere close to being alright and then you showed up again telling her you loved her. She did talk to me a little then, but it was mostly about how mad she was that you left right afterwards and never let her tell you how she felt."

Jess gulped the last bit of the tea down, feeling it burn down his throat even though it had already grown cold. "What did she do after I left the last time?" he asked quietly, even though he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

Lane didn't speak for a moment, contemplating how much to tell him. "It's not my place to tell you that." She finally answered.

"Why not? What did she do, Lane?"

"Let's just say she didn't deal with it well."

"Why won't you tell me?" Her refusal to answer now was worrying him.

"Like I said, Jess, it's not my place to tell you. Ask her. She should be the one to tell you. I will tell you that that time was probably the hardest on her."

Jess just sat there for a moment, trying to wrap his mind around what Lane was telling him. He knew he'd hurt her, but he had never known how deeply. Lane refusing to tell him what she did the last time he left could only mean that something had gone horribly wrong.

"You okay, Jess?" Lane asked sympathetically.

He looked at her and forced a tight smile. "I'll be fine." He stood up and grabbed his duffel bag again. "Thanks, Lane."

She smiled at him and he turned towards the door. Halfway there he stopped and turned back to her.

"Is she happy now?" He asked softly.

Lane thought for a moment before answering. "I really don't think so. Logan is…well, we all know Logan isn't the right one for her. But he's there, you know?"

"Yeah." He turned to leave but Lane's voice stopped him again.

"Jess? She really does love you…she's just terrified of you, as well."

Jess didn't say anything in response. He opened the door and walked out without looking back.

- - - -

Rory couldn't remember how long she had been sitting inside her car. She had packed her bags before dawn and driven to Luke's for some coffee before she hit the road, but when she pulled up she remembered that Jess was most likely inside. She didn't have the courage to face him no matter how desperately she needed coffee.

She had realized that the diner wasn't even open yet and had been about to drive away when she had seen Lane and Jess talking. _'When did they become friends?'_ she had thought.

She sat and watched, mystified, as her best friend seemed to be consoling Jess. She couldn't even begin to understand why Lane would be doing that since she had never even seemed to like Jess.

Rory watched as Jess finally exited the diner, threw a bag in a car she assumed was his, and drove off without even so much as a glance in her direction. She slowly got out of her car and walked into Luke's.

"You probably need this." Lane held out a cup of steaming coffee.

Rory sat down on a stool and took a long sip of the hot liquid, feeling it almost scald her throat as it went down. "You saw me?"

"Not until Jess left, but I assume you've been sitting there for a while trying to avoid him."

Rory nodded, but didn't look up from her coffee.

Lane sighed. "Okay, now that I'm getting used to playing Dr. Phil, why don't you tell me what the heck you were thinking last night?"

"Ew, why does it have to be Dr. Phil?" Rory grimaced. "You know I can't stand him, plus you're not pompous so I don't see the comparison."

Lane rolled her eyes. "Well, Dr. Ruth wouldn't be appropriate since your problem isn't exactly sexual, and give me a break, at this hour I can barely think much less remember the names of different so-called relationship experts. And stop avoiding the subject, Rory."

It was Rory's turn to sigh. "What do you want to know, Lane?"

Lane smiled. "Boy, you two sure are on the same wavelength today."

"What does that mean? And what were you doing talking to Jess?"

"He was…well, he looked broken, Rory. I thought he needed a friend." Lane explained.

"Since when are you and Jess friends? I seem to remember you never really liked him."

"Look, Rory, I'm sorry if you think I crossed the line or did something wrong, but you didn't see the way Jess looked and I did. No, I never liked him much, but that was when we were teenagers. A lot of time has passed and what you did to him was rotten."

"So now you're on Jess' side?" Rory asked in disbelief.

"No, I'm not. But, I'm not on your side either. Consider me Switzerland." Lane tried to crack a joke and lighten the mood.

Rory just sat there as if she was fascinated by the contents of her coffee mug. Her voice was soft and almost a whisper when she finally spoke. "You think what I did was rotten?"

"Rory, I love you, you're my best friend in the whole world. But, that doesn't mean that I think you're perfect. Yes, I think that what you did to Jess was rotten. You ripped his heart out in front of everyone! You practically broke him, Rory. You should have seen him earlier."

"He broke me first, Lane!" Rory exclaimed. "Since when is it okay for him to have ripped my heart out?" She demanded.

"How long does he have to pay for it?"

"Wh-what?"

"You heard me. How long are you going to make him pay for it? Don't you think he's tried to make amends enough? Are you just doing this for revenge now?" Lane asked quietly.

Rory could just sit there as the tears started to run down her face. "I…I…I didn't think that's what I was doing."

Lane walked around the counter and hugged her friend. "It's okay, Rory."

Rory began to sob. "I can't do this anymore. Every time Jess and I walk into each other's lives all we manage to do is rip them apart. We go in whole and leave completely broken! I'm so tired of this!"

Lane stood back and looked at Rory. "What are you going to do then? You have to fix this if it's tearing you apart so much. I know you love him, Ror…"

"Love him?" Rory choked out. "Yeah, I love him, but it doesn't do me any good. All we do is hurt each other. I can't live like that anymore. I won't!"

"Rory…" Lane began.

"No! I'm done. I'm going to make things work with Logan. He's always there for me and he won't leave me like Jess has." She stood up and wiped the tears from her face.

"Thanks for the coffee and the advice, but I know what I have to do." Rory gave her friend a quick hug and quickly left the diner.

Lane stood in the middle of the empty diner thankful that most of Stars Hollow was still recovering from the hangovers they had acquired at the reception the night before and that no one had witnessed Rory's outburst. She watched Rory drive away much the same as Jess had and wished that Rory would realize the huge mistake she was making before it was too late…if it wasn't already.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing related to Gilmore Girls except this story and my DVD sets. **

**A/N: Thank you so much to all of you who have left reviews for me, I appreciate it immensely. Feedback is delicious, so please don't hesitate to leave me your comments. **

- -- -

The page already had a dozen marks on it, but it had taken him over two hours just to edit that one page. The words kept blurring together until all he saw were lines and angles that made no sense. He put the manuscript down and leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

It had been two weeks since he had seen Rory at the wedding and he had tried everything he could to get her off his mind, but nothing had worked so far. He had tried to bury himself in work and that only worked for a few minutes at a time before the words on the page in front of him morphed into a transcript of their last words to each other and all he could see was her face before him, tear-stained and heart-broken…again his fault.

He knew that it wasn't entirely his fault this time, but if he had only been strong enough to resist the inexplicable pull she had over him his heart wouldn't feel as if it was shattered into a million pieces…and he wouldn't have left her looking so lost and alone.

Before Rory he hadn't known he could feel so much; he had carefully constructed a mask of indifference to all those around him and built a wall around his heart to shut out any and all emotions. Years of living with his drug-addicted, alcoholic mother and fending for himself on the harsh New York City streets had taught him that he couldn't trust anyone. Then in one of her drunken rages, his mother had shipped him off to live with his uncle when her latest boyfriend had decided that a kid, especially a punk teenager with a hell of an attitude, were too much trouble for him. Of course, she hadn't told her brother that story but instead claimed that Jess was too troubled for her to handle.

Then he had met Rory and something about her had made him let down his walls occasionally. She had seen past his tough exterior and made him feel like he was actually worth something. It still amazed him that such an amazing and exquisite woman as Rory had wanted to be with him. He knew he had screwed everything up, but he owed her so much. If it hadn't been for her he didn't know where he'd be…she had been the driving force for him to change his life for the better, whether she knew it or not. No matter what else happened between them, he was thankful that she had opened his eyes and steered him down a different path.

He was glad, although he found it a tad ironic, that his mother was now sober, happily married to a guy he couldn't stand, but who not only truly cared for his mother, but had given her another chance at raising a child, hopefully right this time.

He grinned a little at the thought of his little sister, Doula. She had a horrible name for being such a cute kid. He had thought he would be bitter that his sister would have a better chance at life than he had had, but instead he was actually happy that she wouldn't have to go through the same miseries he had faced. He wouldn't wish his past life on anyone.

"Hey man, you working on that Douglas manuscript?" Matthew's voice broke through Jess' thoughts.

"Uh yeah…it's coming along."

Matthew stood in front of him, assessing if Jess was telling him the truth. "Don't forget the deadline is coming up and we need him to make the corrections soon."

Jess sighed. "I just told you I'm working on it."

"Yeah well, I've seen how much work you've been getting done lately and that's why I'm asking."

Jess shrugged. "It'll be done on time."

"What happened to you, man? Ever since you got back from that wedding you've been acting weird…and not your normal brand of weird either."

"It's nothing, don't worry about it." Jess forced a smile. "Now let me get back to work, okay?"

Matthew turned to walk away, but suddenly turned back to face Jess. "Listen, I know you don't need anything to tear you away from all the progress you're making with that manuscript, but we're going to head out to that bar down the street in a little while. Why don't you join us?"

Jess shook his head. "No, that's okay. I'm going to make some more headway on this."

"Suit yourself." Matthew shrugged and walked away.

Jess picked up the manuscript again and tried to start editing, but Rory's face swam before his eyes again. He set it back down again and buried his face in his hands.

He needed to stop thinking about her. She had made her choice…and yet again it wasn't him. Lane's words kept repeating in his mind. _"She loves you, but she's terrified of you as well."_

He knew about terrified…that was how he felt any time Rory was anywhere near him. The feelings he had for her scared the shit out of him. It was all-consuming, raw, and powerful; something he had no control over. He hated to not be in control, but he had no choice when it came to her.

He had tried so many times to move on. He had dated other women briefly, had a few flings and one night stands but no matter what woman writhed beneath him all he could picture was _her_ dark hair splayed on the pillow and _her_ mesmerizing blue eyes filled with passion until he had begun to question his own sanity. He hadn't been with a woman in almost nine months now and it wasn't because he hadn't had the opportunity. He just didn't want to deal with the harsh reality that whatever woman was crying out his name wasn't _her_.

No, she was in another man's bed…letting another man who didn't deserve her run his hands all over her body as if he had the right. She cried out a name that wasn't his in the throes of passion and he had to learn to accept that and live with it. One way or another, he had to get on with his life…without Rory.

He stood up and grabbed his wallet out of the desk drawer.

"Hey, Matthew?" he called. "You guys still going to that bar?"

**- -- -**

Rory had been trying to go to sleep for over an hour, but her mind wouldn't cooperate. Nothing worked…she had even taken to counting the cracks in the ceiling, but even that hadn't lulled her to sleep. She rolled over and tried to get comfortable again, but Logan was taking up too much of the bed.

It was her last night in the apartment she shared with Paris and Doyle. Tomorrow was her graduation from Yale and Logan had come down earlier in the evening to stay with her before the big day. They had made up the day after the wedding when she had gone to see him and practically begged for forgiveness.

She had never thought the day would come when she would be crying her eyes out on Logan's doorstep apologizing for an indiscretion she had committed. She had always thought it would be Logan who would cheat yet again, but he hadn't. She had jeopardized her safe haven with Logan by going into Jess' arms again and it had almost cost her dearly. She was thankful that Logan had accepted her apology and resumed their relationship as if that event had not even occurred.

The moonlight streaming in her window fell across Logan's face, softened in sleep. She reached out a hand to brush away a lock of hair that had fallen across his forehead and watched the shadows play across his face, shading it in contours that weren't there in the daylight. She snatched her hand back quickly as a vision of another man's face invaded her mind.

She was sure that Jess hated her now. She had led him on only to rebuff him too many times for him to feel otherwise. That thought made it easier at times for her to pretend to have forgotten him. Most of the time it just made it more painful.

In the daytime it was easy to imagine that everything was as it should be. She had finished the last of her finals, received her final grades, worked like a mad-woman on her very last issue of 'The Yale Daily News' and even squeezed in a lot of time with Logan, trying to prove that she was the perfect girlfriend in every way she could.

But at night…at night her mind would wander and she would see his face everywhere, hear his voice questioning her choice, and feel his lush lips against hers. It took every ounce of self-restraint she had not to cry as Logan had made love to her tonight. She knew it was Logan's body above her, but all she could see were Jess' coffee eyes dark with lust, feel the sharpness of his chiseled face and the hard planes of his lean muscled body where instead all there was…was Logan. She had bitten her own lip in frustration when he had called out her name and she could have sworn she had heard it cried out in that deep husky voice that belonged to only Jess.

The feeling of emptiness that had come over her had been almost too much to bear, but if Logan had noticed he hadn't said a word.

When Lorelei had returned from her honeymoon, her first call had been to her daughter and Rory had been surprised to hear the note of surprise in her mother's voice when she had relayed that she and Logan had reconciled. Lorelei had denied thinking anything other than that she would return to Logan, but Rory knew she hadn't imagined that pause or unspoken question in her mother's voice.

It had troubled her even more than Lane's accusations had. Lorelei had never cared for Jess…had even claimed to despise him. Yet she had sounded almost disappointed that Rory had gone back to Logan. Didn't she realize she would never be safe with Jess? Life with Jess would be full of uncertainty, unpredictability and chaos. Rory had had enough of that and was content with her well-ordered life.

Tomorrow, after graduation, her life was about to really begin. Her grandfather had been right. Yale had prepared her for everything she had dreamed of and more. She had so many choices ahead of her; choices she had yet to make. She had received various job offers across the country and she had yet to make her decision. She knew which one was in the forefront, but she hadn't told anyone of her thoughts yet. A lowly internship at the New York Times was nothing to brag about, but it was something Rory had dreamed about for most of her life.

It would be perfect. She would learn the ropes at one of the most prestigious newspapers in the world all while being in the same city as her boyfriend. Her daydreams were filled with visions of deadlines and copy editing and her goal of becoming the next Christiane Amanpour. She was finally on her way.

She tried to push all thoughts of Jess out of her mind so that she could finally get some much needed sleep, but it was almost impossible to do. Even though her thoughts had drifted to her future as a successful journalist, in the back of her mind the thought of New York always brought Jess to the forefront. That day they had spent in the city together as teenagers always haunted her whenever she visited Logan there. She was petrified that the gnawing feeling in her stomach would grow worse if she moved there.

After moving to New York and beginning her new life with Logan there, the ghosts of her past would settle into the background. They had to. If they didn't it would mean she had made the wrong choice, and that wasn't something she could even begin to think about. She had made her choice and it was too late to go back…even if at times she wished she could.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Gilmore Girls.**

**A/N: Thank you again for all the reviews. You have no idea how much they mean to me. Feedback is delicious! This story is long from over, but things will begin to move rapidly in the next couple of chapters so hang on for a bumpy ride. ;-)**

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Jess sat in his car silently cursing himself for having driven there. When he had woken up with a hangover that morning, his first thought had been of some aspirin for the pounding headache he had. As soon as the headache had started to subside, his thoughts had turned to Rory again.

It felt ridiculous to him that one woman could dominate his life so much, but he felt helpless to the hold she had on him. He knew she was out of his life now, and he accepted it, however grudgingly, but he had been on autopilot when he realized what day it was. He didn't care that she didn't want anything to do with him. Today was a very important day in her life and he knew he wanted to be there to witness it.

That was how he had found himself to driving to New Haven for her graduation from Yale. He had been halfway there when he realized what he was actually doing and almost turned the car back around towards Philadelphia. But, he had stayed on the highway towards Connecticut, cursing himself the entire way.

He had finally reasoned that maybe if he said goodbye to her then he could finally move on. A real goodbye this time, not the dance they had been performing over the last several years. Maybe what he needed was the finality of it; something to signify that the invisible ties they had to each other were completely severed for good this time.

Her claiming to love Logan hadn't done that, and neither had her rejection of him at the wedding. His logical mind told him it was a long shot, but if he was the one to say goodbye this time, as he hadn't done ever before, then maybe, just maybe, he could get on with his life.

He knew the ceremony would be starting soon, but he hadn't wanted to chance running into anyone he knew so he had been biding his time. He saw the number of people entering the auditorium was finally dwindling so he got out of his car and made his way inside. He found an empty seat a few rows from the back and sat down trying to blend in as much as possible so no one would notice him.

A moment later, he heard the familiar sounds of 'Pomp and Circumstance' and the graduates filed in towards the front of the room. He zeroed in on Rory almost immediately despite the hundreds of other faces in cap and gown. He mentally kicked himself for being so drawn to her that he could pick her out in such a crowd, but it was something he couldn't help.

He listened to the commencement speakers drone on, but he barely heard a word they said. His thoughts were focused on Rory alone and his cynical side kicked himself yet again at how his heart swelled with pride that she had accomplished her dream of graduating.

The graduates were being called up on stage one by one and he stiffened when he heard "Lorelei Leigh Gilmore, Magna Cum Laude, Bachelor of Arts, Journalism". She walked across the stage and shook the Dean's hand as he handed her the placard holding her degree.

Rory walked towards the end of the stage and turned to where he assumed she had seen her family. She flashed a huge grin and then made a silly face. He looked to where her gaze was directed and saw Lorelei standing and making the same silly faces at her. He grinned despite himself at the Gilmore women's antics at such an important moment. The cheers coming from the section Lorelei was sitting in were deafening and his grin widened when he saw the looks of dismay on her grandparents faces at the undignified display.

He turned his gaze back to Rory and saw she had moved down to the very end of the stage and was about to step down when she suddenly stopped. Her eyes met his in surprise across the crowded auditorium and his heart skipped a beat. Time stood still as she stared in amazement at him and he couldn't tear his eyes away from hers. She was finally spurred to move on when the graduate behind her urged her forward. She smiled softly at him before returning to her seat.

Years of defending himself on the streets kicked his instincts in and he felt someone staring at him. He shifted and saw Logan turned in his seat facing him, silently seething with anger. Jess couldn't resist smirking in return and touching his fingers to his forehead in a small mock salute. Logan cast him one last malevolent look before turning back to face the front.

Jess heart was racing. Now that the blonde dick knew he was there, he wouldn't have a lot of time to talk to Rory. He had to get to her immediately after the ceremony before her family and friends descended on her.

The ceremony finally ended and he took advantage of the pandemonium with loved ones trying to find their respective graduate. He walked stealthily towards where he had seen Rory, but before he could find her she was standing before him.

"Jess? What are you doing here?" she asked softly.

He pulled her off to the side and away from the throngs of people.

"I…I wanted to see you graduate. I know I missed the one at Chilton and I didn't want to make that same mistake twice."

Her blue eyes were awestruck as she let his words sink in.

"Listen, Rory, I didn't come here to ruin your special day, I just wanted to be here for some reason. I felt like I had to."

"Thank you, Jess. It means a lot to me." She almost whispered.

Jess swallowed hard before continuing. "I also…I wanted to say goodbye."

Her eyes flashed with concern. "What do you mean, say goodbye?"

"I've never said it before and I need to say it now. We've always left things undone between us and I need some closure so I can move on. You have a great career ahead of you and I want you to be happy, even if it's with that asshole, but neither of us can be happy if we keep floating in and out of each other's lives."

"Are you saying that we're never going to see each other again?" She asked, her voice tight.

"Life has a funny way of throwing us together, but yeah…I'm saying that I'm going to stay out of your life. For good this time." His voice was low and gruff, and though he couldn't remember the last time he had cried, if ever, he felt tears burning behind his eyes.

"No, Jess. I don't want that. "

"Rory, I can't do this anymore. I can't get over you if we keep waltzing in and out of each other's lives! I have to do this." He choked out.

Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears and he felt his heart constrict at the sight. "Jess…" she began, but he cut her off.

"It's for the best, Ror." He looked deep into her eyes and a million things he wanted to say to her ran through his mind, but he settled on the only one that might leave his dignity intact. "Goodbye, Rory."

He reached a hand to her cheek, softly wiping away the tear that had fallen. He took one last look at her angelic face before walking away from her. His steps quickened as he felt the lump in his throat grow.

-- -- ---- --

Rory watched Jess walk away and she felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She started to go after him when she felt a hand on her arm and she was being turned around and hugged fiercely.

"Oh, sweets! I'm so proud of you!" Lorelei exclaimed.

Lorelei pulled back and saw the tears in her daughter's eyes. "Are you okay, honey?"

Rory mentally pulled herself together quickly. "I'm fine, just a little nostalgic. I can't believe I finally graduated."

Lorelei beamed before Rory was pulled away to be congratulated by the rest of her family and friends.

"Okay, everybody! It's back to the crap-shack for a monstrous party!" Lorelei called.

"Lorelei, really. Can't you think of something better to call your own home?" Emily rolled her eyes.

Lorelei just laughed and started directing everyone back to their cars.

Rory rode with Logan back to her mother's house and although she kept up a steady stream of conversation with him, her mind was on Jess. He couldn't be serious about never seeing each other again, but she knew she had never seen the look in his eyes before and it scared her.

Before she knew it, they were back at the Gilmore-Danes home and the party was in full swing. She was constantly surrounded by well-wishers so she didn't have much time to dwell on Jess. Her mother had truly outdone herself with this party and the house was packed with food, drink, and everyone that mattered most to Rory…except for one person.

She finally managed to steal away from everyone and slipped outside to the front porch. She sat down on the wicker sofa outside and drew her knees up to her chest. She was elated that she had finally managed to graduate from Yale and for the opportunities that now awaited her, but the dull ache in her chest at the thought of losing Jess forever made everything else fall by the wayside.

She couldn't believe that he had come to her graduation in the first place. The sight of him sitting there when she was about to step off the stage had astounded her. She was amazed that he had remembered, but especially that he had come to share such a special moment with her after she had treated him so horribly. She blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill again.

She knew she had chosen Logan, but she had never thought she would lose Jess completely. It was selfish of her, she knew, but the thought that she would never see Jess again had never entered her mind. She thought he would always be there…waiting for her, if she was ever ready. But he wanted a clean break in order to move on, to get over her. The dull ache began to throb as she let his final words wash over her again.

Her thoughts were interrupted by someone else coming onto the front porch.

"Hey Ace, I was wondering where you ran off to." Logan smiled before sitting down next to her.

She forced a smile. "I just needed some fresh air."

"Well, how's it feel to be a Yale graduate?"

"It feels pretty good." She answered honestly.

He returned her smile. "So what exactly are your plans now?"

Rory took a deep breath. "Well, I've actually been thinking a lot about that and I've been waiting for the right time to tell you."

"Yes?"

"I got offered an internship at the 'New York Times'. I want to accept it." She smiled triumphantly.

Logan frowned. "An internship? Rory, are you forgetting who I am, or more importantly, who my father is?"

Rory was confused. "What do you mean?"

"You don't need to do an internship. My father has a lot of influence with the 'Times'. He could get you in as a full-fledged reporter right off the bat."

Rory shook her head. "No, I want to work my way up, Logan. That wouldn't be fair."

"Fair? Who cares if it's fair? It's called life, Rory. Connections are everything and we have them. You should utilize them."

Rory was skeptical. "I really want my work to be recognized for its' own merit, Logan, not because my boyfriend's father is Mitchum Huntzberger."

"Think about it, Rory, we can live together in New York. We'll get you a real job at the 'Times' if that's where you really want to work, and not some unpaid internship position, and we can take New York by storm together." Logan rationalized.

"I don't' know, Logan."

"Think about it, ok? It's almost the perfect plan."

Rory looked at him quizzically. "Almost?"

"Yeah, almost…there's only one thing that could make it more perfect."

Rory stared at him completely confused. "What is it?"

To her utter shock, Logan dropped down on one knee and pulled a black velvet box out of his pocket.

"I've been waiting for the right moment to do this, and now seems like the perfect time." He opened the box in his hand to reveal a beautiful diamond solitaire ring.

Rory couldn't speak. All she could do was stare at him in disbelief.

"I love you, Rory. Will you marry me?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, despite my many protests and wishes, related to Gilmore Girls.**

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews; you guys rock! A special thank you to my friend Chele for giving me the inspiration for a portion of this chapter. Now, on to the story!**

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"Another Jack on the rocks, Mike." Jess signaled the bartender.

The bartender shook his head, but poured Jess another drink. "That's your third one, man. Didn't you learn your lesson last night?" He asked as he set the glass down in front of him.

Jess swirled the amber liquid in the glass he picked up. "Apparently not." He drank half of it down in one gulp.

Mike leaned against the bar. "What is it, girl troubles?"

Jess laughed dryly. "I appreciate it Mike, but this isn't 'Cheers' and your name isn't Sam."

"Just trying to help. You just usually don't come in here and get wasted."

"Well, maybe I figured out all the fun I was missing." Jess replied sarcastically.

Mike grinned. "Yeah, because drinking until you puke is a blast."

"Yeah, well you know what they say; Liquor before beer, never fear…beer before liquor, never sicker." Jess swallowed the last of his drink. "So I'll take a beer now."

Mike shook his head again, but handed Jess a cold bottle. He knew it was pointless to argue with him and that if he really wanted to get drunk he could find a million other bars in Philadelphia to get wasted in. At least at his bar, Mike could call one of the guys at Truncheon right around the corner to get Jess if he became too inebriated to make it home.

Jess took a swig of the beer and set it down before him. The bar was unusually empty for a Saturday night or so he assumed since he didn't really spend much time there. Occasionally he joined the rest of the guys here at the corner bar for a beer, but more often than not he opted to do his own thing which usually consisted of staying home with whatever book he was reading at the moment.

He couldn't remember a time when books weren't an integral part of his life. He remembered his elderly neighbor teaching him how to read when he was about 4 or 5 and his mother would leave him with her while she went out, or stayed in, with her latest boyfriend. He remembered sitting in the old woman's lap on her rocking chair and her praise at how quickly he was learning to read. He could see every wrinkle on her face, every gray hair on her head, but strangely he couldn't remember her name. She had died shortly after he had mastered the beginner readers she had taught him out of, and his mother hadn't been able to find another baby-sitter so books became his companion when he was left to fend for himself. He could pretend the dark shadows or the noises he heard didn't scare him by escaping into the different worlds his books provided.

Escape and solace…that's what his novels were to him. He would forget the odor of marijuana in the apartment, stepping over his mother's drunken form passed out on the floor, the screaming from the fight she had gotten into with whatever loser she had brought home, and then the squeaking of the mattress in her room when they made up. He could completely lose himself for a while before reality came back to slap him in the face.

By the time he was 12, he had read books most college students hadn't. Tolstoy, Salinger, Kerouac, Hemingway, Dumas, Proust…those were a few of the many authors he had read by that young age. His taste in literature varied to whatever mood he was in, but a book was never far from his reach.

Unfortunately, tonight no book could work its' usual magic. He had tried, but eventually given up and headed out for a walk when he found himself in front of the corner bar. He had thought maybe a drink or two would help him sleep, but instead had decided to get drunk and forget.

He was about to ask Mike for another beer when the door opened and a group of women entered the bar, giggling noisily. He rolled his eyes and turned back to the beer in his hand, taking a final swig before indicating he wanted another.

The group had made its' way to a corner table and Jess could see them eyeing him appreciatively out of the corner of his eye.

A petite blonde sauntered to the bar and asked the bartender for a round of rum and coke's for her table. While Mike was making the drinks, she leaned towards Jess slightly and tried to get his attention.

"Hey there." She drawled in a soft southern accent.

He nodded and forced a tight-lipped smile. "Hey."

"Is this a good bar? I'm not from around here." She continued.

Jess still hadn't looked at her, but kept his eyes on the new bottle Mike had placed before him. "Good as any."

"Are you just shy or are you usually this talkative?" she quipped.

"Look, I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but I really just want to be by myself right now." Jess responded, finally looking at her.

"Well, if you change your mind, my name's Alyssa." She smiled and took the drinks Mike had set in front of her. "I'll be over there with my friends hoping you come over." She winked at him before rejoining her friends.

Mike stopped in front of Jess again. "What's wrong with you, man? That girl was hot."

Jess chuckled. "Strictly a matter of opinion."

Mike shook his head before walking away. "Whatever, man."

He couldn't deny that this Alyssa was attractive. She was petite with long blonde hair and warm brown eyes, her short skimpy dress not leaving much to the imagination and a few years ago he probably would have taken her up on the obvious offer she was making, but now…now he just wasn't interested. She just couldn't compare to Rory…no one could.

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and took another drink from his beer bottle. Rory. He had said goodbye to her earlier and meant it. She was now free to live her life without any interruption from him, and what was he going to do? Sit and pine for her for the rest of his life?

He took a long drink and set the beer bottle before him. He couldn't believe he was such an idiot. He wanted…no, needed to get on with his life. He was just going to make himself more miserable if he compared every woman he encountered to Rory. No one was ever going to measure up to those standards.

Suddenly a diversion named Alyssa didn't seem so bad. He signaled Mike to bring him another beer and a rum and coke. He handed Mike a few bills and grabbing both drinks made his way over to the girls' table, where Alyssa sat staring at him with a smirk on her face.

"Change your mind?" she asked as Jess set the rum and coke in front of her.

He returned her smirk. "Looks like."

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Rory walked into the kitchen where her mother was scraping plates into the garbage. All the guests had gone home and Luke had finally managed to drag himself up to bed.

"Need some help, Mom?"

Lorelei looked up and rolled her eyes at her daughter. "Have I taught you nothing? When it's your special day, you're supposed to sit around and watch everybody else work!"

"Ah, I knew there was something I was forgetting."

Lorelei put the last plate in the sink, poured two cups of coffee and set them down on the kitchen table before sitting down herself and indicating for Rory to take a seat as well.

"So honey, hell of a party wasn't it?"

Rory forced a smile. "Yup."

Lorelei took a sip of her coffee. "I can't believe you just graduated. It's amazing!"

Rory sipped her coffee slowly and nodded.

Lorelei narrowed her eyes in concern. "Okay daughter-of-mine, spill it. What's got you so quiet?"

Rory sat there for a moment deciding on how best to break the news to her mother. She knew Lorelei and Logan had gotten off to a rocky start and her mother had disliked him for a very long time, but lately they had seemed to develop a sort of easy rapport, even joking with each other at times. She just wasn't sure how her mother was going to handle what she had to say.

"Rory?" Lorelei prodded.

Rory took a deep breath. "Well, actually there is something I want to tell you."

"You can tell me anything, hon. What is it?"

"Logan proposed." Rory blurted before she had a chance to chicken out.

Lorelei sat there for a moment, trying to absorb what she had just been told, and Rory saw a moment's hesitation before Lorelei leaped out of her seat and threw her arms around her daughter.

"Oh, honey! I'm so happy for you!" She hugged Rory tightly. "Congratulations, baby!"

Rory tried to pull back from her mother and speak, but Lorelei was babbling now. "Wow, this is amazing! You just graduated from Yale and the same night Logan proposes…what a day! I can't believe my baby is getting married."

"Mom…"

"Thank God I got married before you, can you imagine what Emily would have to say if I hadn't?"

"Mom…"

"We'll have to start planning right away because the Huntzbergers' being so hoity-toity, I'm sure they'll want a big society wedding and…"

"Mom!" Rory yelled.

Lorelei blinked. "What?"

"I said no." Rory couldn't look up to gauge her mother's reaction.

"Oh, thank God."

Rory's head snapped up. "What?"

Lorelei was slumped back in her chair. "You heard me."

"Why would you say that?" Rory asked.

Lorelei leaned forward towards Rory. "Honey, you've been through a lot these last few weeks. Accepting Logan's proposal right now would be wrong."

Rory sighed. "I…I broke up with Logan, Mom."

Lorelei's eyes widened. "What?"

Tears started to stream down Rory's face as the words came tumbling out. "I told him about the offer for the internship at the 'New York Times' and how I was planning on taking it, but he said his father could get me a real job at any newspaper I wanted. I saw my whole life laid out on a silver platter in front of me. Logan relies on his father's connections too much…I don't want to be a trophy wife!" She cried.

"Whoa, honey, I don't think that's what he meant." Lorelei interrupted.

"Don't you see? That's how it starts! Logan likes being in his high society world, but I don't! I thought I did, but I realized today that it's not what I really want. Everything was just happening so fast it felt like things were spinning out of control!" Rory sobbed.

Lorelei patted Rory's hand soothingly. "It's okay, honey."

Rory let the sobs subside and sat in silence for a moment before speaking again. "Jess was at graduation today." She said softly.

Lorelei sat up a little straighter. "He was?"

Rory nodded. "He…He came to say goodbye."

"What do you mean goodbye?"

"He said that he needed closure and that neither of us could be happy if we kept waltzing in and out of each other's lives so he was going to stay away. For good." Tears started streaming down her face again.

"Rory, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be honest. Even with yourself. Can you do that?"

Rory nodded mutely.

"Do you want to be with Jess?"

Rory sat there, seriously considering her mother's question and she felt every fiber in her being responding before she was able to say a word. "Yes." She said softly.

Lorelei turned her daughter around to face her. "Why did you go back to Logan then, sweetie?"

"Because I was scared!" Rory let the sobs rock her body once more. "Because I thought if I let Jess in one more time he would leave me again and this time I don't think I could have handled it!"

Lorelei wrapped her arms around her daughter once more, trying to soother her. She had never seen Rory like this and it was breaking her heart to see the pain she was in.

"Logan was safe…I knew he wasn't going anywhere. I used him because I couldn't risk being with Jess." She whispered as she regained some semblance of control.

"But you can't help who you fall in love with, Rory. Take it from me."

"I know that now, but it's too late. Jess doesn't want anything to do with me anymore."

Lorelei sighed and grabbed her daughter by the shoulders. "Honey, Jess hasn't stopped loving you. If he came to say goodbye to you today that just means he loves you so much he was willing to let you go so you could have a chance to be happy; even if it meant it wasn't with him."

"I couldn't be happy without him, Mom. I've tried. It just doesn't work."

"Does that mean you're really ready to risk being with him now?" Lorelei inquired.

"I don't know how I lived without him these past few years, Mom. I'm done being stupid and running away from him." She looked into her mother's eyes as if waiting for her disapproval. "I love Jess so much it hurts. He's the one, Mom."

Lorelei stood up and walked over to her purse, rummaging around in it. Rory looked on, confused as to what her mother was doing. Lorelei returned to her seat and placed something in Rory's hand.

She looked down and saw it was the keys to her mother's Jeep. "What…?"

Lorelei smiled softly. "Your car is still in New Haven. I thought you might need a way to get to Philadelphia."

Rory's eyes filled with tears and she hugged her mother tightly. "Thank you."

Lorelei knew Rory meant she was grateful for more than just the car keys. "Go get your man."

Rory flashed Lorelei a big smile before turning and running out of the house and towards the Jeep. She got in the car and backed out of the driveway as quickly as she could.

She had no idea what she was going to say to Jess once she saw him, but she had the entire drive to Philadelphia to think about it.

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**A/N: Feedback is delicious!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls belongs to the Powers That Be, and not to me. **

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews. They mean the world to me. As promised in the original summary, the ratings for this and future chapters will be rated higher, M for Mature. Please be forewarned in reading this and following chapters.**

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Jess fumbled with his keys in the dark for a few moments before finally finding the right one and opening the door. He went inside and slammed the door shut behind him, not worrying that he would wake his roommates who were probably still out for the night.

He shook the water droplets out of his hair as he made his way to the back of the office where his desk was. It had been just his luck that the rain had waited to begin until the precise moment he had left the bar. He sat down at his desk looking for the Douglas manuscript he had to finish working on. He knew he wasn't entirely sober, but maybe being a little drunk would help him get some work done.

He found the manuscript and turned on his desk lamp. The light cast an eerie glow in the dark room and added to the horrible mood Jess was in. He opened to the last page he had been working on, but slammed it back down on his desk in anger before he even read the first line.

He knew his anger wouldn't let him focus and that enraged him even more. He was furious with himself for not being able to let go. He had made a promise to leave Rory alone and he was going to keep to that. It was the only way he knew to move on, but unfortunately the moving on wasn't happening fast enough for him.

He had been sitting with that pretty blonde whose name he could barely remember and attempting to flirt, which was something he hadn't done in a long time. He had known just by the way the girl was acting that all he had to do was say the word and she would be in his bed without a moment's hesitation, but he hadn't wanted just a quick lay. He had been hoping that maybe there was more to this girl than just a pretty face and long legs. Unfortunately, there wasn't…at least not for him.

He had grown more frustrated with every moment that passed and every word she had spoken. The worst part was that it wasn't the girl's fault; it was his. He couldn't stop comparing her to Rory no matter how hard he tried. He had finally given up and called it a night when she had tried to kiss him. He knew he'd pissed her off and that she probably wasn't used to being rejected, so he didn't even flinch when she'd called him a few choice names as he paid his tab and walked out the bar.

He hated that he couldn't put her behind him as she had done with him. She was probably celebrating her graduation with her blonde dick boyfriend at that precise moment not even giving him a second thought; all the while he sat there in a dark room trying to figure out how to exorcise her out of his mind.

Just as he was about to give up all hope of working on the manuscript for the night and head up to bed, he heard a pounding on the door. His eyes narrowed and he shook his head, finding it unbelievable that Matthew would forget his keys three times in the same week.

The pounding was incessant as he slowly made his way to the door. "Damn it Matt, I'm coming."

He swung open the door, realizing that he had left it unlocked and was about to berate Matthew for being so drunk as to not try the handle when he realized it wasn't Matthew who had been knocking.

He stood looking at the figure in his doorway, not quite trusting what he saw. He knew he had a lot to drink, but surely he wasn't to drunk enough to be imagining her in his doorway.

"Rory?" he asked, not succeeding in keeping the incredulous tone from his voice.

Rory stood just outside the doorway, rain coming down in sheets all around her, her face faintly illuminated by the streetlamp on the corner. Her hair and clothes were soaked and clinging to her making her look frail and he could see the frightened look in her eyes.

"Can I come in?" she asked softly.

Jess nodded mutely and stepped aside to let her in. He shut the door behind her and couldn't say a word as she stood in the entryway, dripping onto the wood floor.

They stood there just watching each other for a few moments before Jess was finally able to speak. "What are you doing here, Rory?"

She looked down at her feet and at the puddle she was making on the floor all around her. "Oh no, Jess, I'm so sorry! I'm dripping water everywhere."

"It's okay. Just…just stay here. I'll be right back." He turned and walked quickly up the staircase returning a few moments later with some towels. He handed them to her wordlessly and she tried to dry herself off as best as she could.

She had started to try to clean up the puddles she had left on the floor as Jess watched; still not quite believing that she was there. "Rory, stop." He took the towels from her and laid them on a side table. "What are you doing here?"

She raised her head to look into his eyes. "I wanted to see you."

Jess stepped back and shook his head. "No, Rory. I told you before that we were done. You have to leave. You can't just waltz in here at two in the morning and expect me to be waiting here with open arms. I can't do that anymore."

Rory took a step closer to him and opened her mouth to speak but Jess cut her off again, putting his hand in front of her to stop her from coming any closer. "No, I'm serious. You have to go."

"Jess, please, you have to listen to me."

"I don't have to do anything anymore. I said goodbye this time, Rory! You have to go now." His heart was pounding in his chest.

Rory ignored him. "Jess, please! I know you have every right to be mad at me and hate me, but please, I have to talk to you."

Jess laughed dryly. "Hate you? You think that's the problem? I don't hate you, but I wish I did. My life would be a hell of a lot easier if I could just hate you."

Rory stepped closer again spurred by his words. "Jess, please, just listen to me. I came here because I …"

"No…there's nothing you could say to make me change my mind. I can't deal with this shit anymore!" Jess forced himself to turn away from her and started back towards the stairs. "You know where the door is."

He felt her grab his arm and turn him around and suddenly her lips were crushed against his, her arms entwined around his neck and he felt his resolve dissolve into the puddles she was still leaving on the floor. He felt himself kissing her back with all he had, his arms circling her waist to bring her flush against him, not caring that she was soaking him in the process.

He pulled back for a moment, resting his forehead against hers for a moment, trying to catch his breath. Her answer had the power to break his heart yet again, but he knew he had to ask the question.

"What are you doing, Rory?" He asked softly.

Rory leaned back to look into his eyes. She brought her hand up to his face, softly pushing his hair out of his eyes and caressing his cheek before she could bring herself to answer.

"I'm finally thinking with my heart." She whispered before pressing her lips to his again.

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Rory ran her fingers through Jess' hair, luxuriating in the feel of the silky strands between her fingers. He deepened the kiss and she responded eagerly, their tongues dueling for control.

After a few moments, Jess pulled back, gasping for air and she could see the questions in his eyes. She was tired of the game they kept playing and decided to be honest with him once and for all.

"Will you listen to me now?" she whispered, almost afraid of his answer. He nodded and pulled her down to sit beside him on a nearby bench.

She reached for his hand and held it gingerly in her own. "You asked me why I came here. I came here for you. I'm tired too, Jess. I've been lying to everyone for so long; you, Logan, my family…even me. I was so scared of getting hurt again that I wouldn't let myself love you, until I realized that I've been in love with you since the first day I met you."

His eyes widened slightly and she went on hoping that for once she was doing the right thing. "I let my fear that you would leave me again win out over how I felt when I was with you. I didn't want to risk having my heart broken again. You have no idea how much it hurt me every time you left."

He wiped the tears that had slowly begun to stream down her face away, silently, knowing that she had to finish what she had started.

"No matter how much I denied how I really felt about you, I thought about you constantly. I was so scared that you would hurt me again that I ended up hurting you far worse. I can never apologize for that enough." She ran her thumb lightly across his palm, trying to reassure herself that he was still there beside her.

"I love you, Jess. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you and I don't think I ever will. I know it might be too late, but I had to try." She looked into his warm brown eyes and saw the disbelief clearly written in them. "I won't lie to you this time, I'm still scared. But, what I'm scared of is not having you in my life. I'm scared that I've been running for so long that we've missed our chance. I'm scared that you won't believe how much I love you."

Jess pulled her to him in one swift motion, capturing her lips with his. His mouth was so warm on hers and she shivered at the contact. He pulled back and cradled her face in his hands.

"We haven't missed our chance, Rory." He whispered, dropping his hands to hold her close against him.

She knew she needed to tell him before they could really begin anew. She pulled back slightly, still in his embrace, but staring straight into his eyes. "I finally fixed everything." She whispered back.

Jess' eyes widened and a smile spread across his face. "All of it?"

"All of it." She nodded. "I broke up with him. For good."

"Rory, I can't handle losing you again. You're serious? You want to start over…with me?" The look in his eyes made her heart clench and she knew she could never be the one to cause him pain ever again.

"I'm serious." She traced his cheekbone lovingly with her fingers. "I love you, Jess. You're the only man I want to be with."

He brought his lips down to hers again, their kiss soft and gentle. "I love you so much, Rory." He murmured against her lips. "I promise I'll never leave you again."

Her arms twined around his neck, pulling him closer and deepening their kiss. He ran his hands along her spine and pulled her against him, finally breaking contact with her lips and trailing kisses from the edge of her mouth, along her jaw line, and down to her neck. Her heart raced as his lips found the hollow of her throat, a soft moan escaping her lips.

She felt a sudden urge to touch his skin and she slipped her hands under his shirt and up his strong chest, relishing the feel of his well-defined muscles under her fingers. Jess shivered under her ministrations and his lips found hers again in a crushing kiss.

Rory stood up, pulling him with her, their lips never breaking contact. She gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it up, her hands running over the taught muscles of his back. His lips worked their way back down to her neck and she tried to take his shirt off, aching to feel his skin against hers.

Jess realized what she was doing and he pulled back, looking into her eyes. "Rory, we can't."

She smiled softly and stepped away from him, her fingers at the buttons of her shirt. "I'm not a naïve teenager anymore, Jess." She slowly unbuttoned her shirt and let it fall to the ground at her feet, her eyes never leaving his. "I love you, and I've wanted this for six years." She moved towards him, seeing the undisguised hunger flashing in his eyes.

He held his breath as she gripped the hem of his shirt, only moving to raise his arms as she pulled it over his head and dropped it next to her own shirt. They stood there just staring at each other for a brief moment before he closed the gap between them and pulled her against him once more, his mouth descending on hers in a crushing kiss.

Her fingers ran up his arms and over his shoulders before they worked their way back down to his sides, and skimmed the edge of his jeans. He bit her bottom lip lightly as he felt her fingers working on his belt buckle, his hands buried in her hair. He started to walk them backwards towards the stairs, never breaking contact, each almost afraid to let the other go.

He broke their kiss as they stumbled up the first few steps. "This is dangerous." He turned, grabbing her hand and walked up the stairs as quickly as he could with Rory in tow.

He paused just outside his bedroom door and looked at her once more. "Rory…are you sure?" His voice was soft, yet tight with emotion.

She smiled at him and kissed him briefly. "I've never been more sure of anything."

That was all the assurance he needed and he pulled her up to him roughly, his hands gripping her waist, his tongue snaking around hers. She barely registered her back being pressed against the door as his lips descended on her neck once more. Her lower body arched against his and she felt his burgeoning erection against her thigh.

Her senses were flooded with his distinct smell and she lowered her head to taste his skin. She ran her tongue lightly across his collarbone and she felt him shudder. She had a vague thought that he tasted like soft leather and old books before her senses overwhelmed her again as his hands cupped her breasts through her lace bra. He bent down and took her breast into his mouth, his tongue darting across the lace and sending shivers up her spine. She raised one leg and wrapped it around his waist aching to feel more.

Sensing her need, he ran his hands down to her bottom and lifted her up so she could wrap both legs around his waist. He held her up against the door, her legs wrapped tightly around him, his tongue snaking across her collarbone to her neck once more. She ground her hips against his, one hand clutching his shoulder for support, the other working its way between them to his belt buckle again.

He felt her undo his belt and as she began to unbutton his jeans he murmured against her neck. "Inside." He managed to open the door without dropping her and they stumbled into his room, Rory kicking the door shut behind them.

He stopped at the foot of his bed and set her down, her body sliding down his. She stepped back from him again, almost panting for breath and slowly wriggled out of her own jeans.

He stood there for a moment just taking in the sight of her, his beautiful, wonderful Rory standing before him in only a lacy bra and matching panties, her eyes glazed with lust, and he felt himself harden painfully inside his own jeans. Rory came to his aid almost immediately and pushed his jeans down his legs and he quickly stepped out of them, kicking them to the side.

"Huh. I never figured you for a boxer-briefs guy." She smiled.

He grinned back before pulling her to him again and kissing her softly. "You don't like it?" He teased.

She raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Oh, I like them alright. They're umm…form-fitting."

He laughed softly and lowered them both to the bed, surprising her by unclasping her bra at the same time and throwing it towards the rest of their clothes.

"You've got skills." She teased.

He ran his tongue down her chest as he pulled her panties down her legs and added them to the pile of clothes before answering. "And I'm just getting started." He murmured a smirk on his face as he looked up at her.

She shivered at his words and pulled him up to her, crashing her lips against his and working his boxers down over his hips and legs until they were puddled at his feet and he kicked them away.

She ran her fingers lightly over his shoulders and down his biceps, the muscles rippling under her touch. She had dreamed of this for so long, but her fantasies were nothing compared to the reality of lying in his bed, his naked body flush against hers. He bent down and took her breast in his mouth, gently laving the tip and all coherent thought left her. She could only savor the delicious feelings he sent coursing through her body.

She shifted her hips until she felt his erection at her already heated core and he groaned against her breast as she pressed herself against him. He reached down between them and she arched against him again, crying out, as his fingers invaded her body. She had never felt so much need, so much passion before. "Jess…" She moaned as he slithered down her body and his mouth replaced his hand.

She cried out, her hips violently jerking towards him of their own accord. He held her in place firmly, his tongue working its way through her folds. She reached down and wound her fingers through his hair, making incoherent sounds that were like music to Jess' ears. She felt the tension uncoil in the pit of her stomach and her head sank back into the pillow as it seemed like fireworks exploded beneath her eyelids.

Jess slowly slid back up her body as she lay panting from her orgasm, a smirk on his face. She smacked his arm lightly, a smile on her face. "Happy with yourself?"

His smirk grew wider. "Yes."

She pulled him back down to her in a slow and sensual kiss, amazed that she wasn't put off by tasting herself on his lips. She shifted her hips yet again until he was poised at her entrance and he pulled back from the kiss, looking down at her as if for permission. She answered by wrapping her legs tightly around his waist and he slowly sank into her, his eyes never leaving hers, almost hissing as he was finally sheathed inside of her.

He closed his eyes, letting the sensations wash over him as he began to slowly move inside her, her hips pumping against his. Her nails dug into his back, the sensation of fullness he created inside her was almost too much to bear. They moved together silently, only a soft moan escaping each of their lips every so often. Sweat beaded his brow and she fought the urge to taste it with the tip of her tongue.

Rory could feel herself nearing the edge again and Jess seemed to sense her urgency as he increased his thrusts, his hand working its way to where their bodies were joined, his fingers finding and rubbing the one spot that he knew would send her over the edge.

It was too much…she held on as long as she could, but she couldn't hang on any longer. She sailed over the brink, waves of pure pleasure washing over her, clinging to Jess, shuddering and crying out in ecstasy as wave after wave of her orgasm threatened to engulf her. His eyes were her anchor; never leaving hers, his enjoyment of her climax clear, as he quickened the pace yet again and joined her with his own climax, gripping her to him, her name a loud moan on his lips.

She had never witnessed anything more erotic than the look in his eyes as they rode out the waves of their lovemaking, slowly winding down, holding on to each other as if their very lives depended on it.

Jess rolled onto his back, taking Rory with him, their bodies still joined. They lay there, her prone against his chest, both gasping for breath for several minutes before either could speak.

Rory lifted herself up on her elbows and looked down at him. She had never been more content than she was at that moment. She brushed the hair out of his eyes gently and looked into his warm eyes, raw with emotion. "I love you, Jess."

He ran his hand up her bare spine, never having believed that he could be as happy as he was at that very moment. "I love you too, Rory."

She laid her head back down on his chest and closed her eyes, hearing his breathing relaxing, positive that tonight she would sleep peacefully.

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**A/N: Feedback is delicious!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Gilmore Girls except for this story. **

**A/N: I love everyone's reactions to the last chapter! Thank you all so much for your kind comments and reviews. This chapter is very light-hearted and I felt the story deserved it after so much angst in the last few chapters. But, the drama isn't over for our favorite couple yet by a long shot. I also wanted to point out that the only name of Jess' co-workers I believe that was mentioned on the show was Matthew, but the names Leo and Chris have stuck in my mind, so I'm not sure if they are from another fic or are also mentioned on the show at some point. I apologize if I have inadvertently stolen the names from another fic author. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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Jess opened his eyes slowly, blinking at the harsh sunlight streaming in through the cracks in his blinds. He didn't have one of those clichéd disoriented moments where he didn't remember the previous nights' events or wasn't aware of the still form lying next to him. He immediately remembered every glorious moment of the last night and the beautiful woman curled against his side.

He propped himself up on one elbow and gazed down at her, her breathing rhythmic, a soft smile on her face. Her back was to him, but she was snuggled against him tightly, her legs tangled in his. He couldn't resist the temptation to run his hand softly down her arm, her skin silky beneath his touch. He pressed a soft kiss on her bare shoulder and he felt her stir.

Her eyes fluttered open and she turned to focus on him. Her smile deepened. "Hey."

He smiled and traced a lazy pattern down her arm. "Hey." His voice was soft as he met her eyes.

She turned towards him and brought her hand up to his face, gently tracing his cheekbone. He leaned into the palm of her hand, briefly closing his eyes, reveling in her touch.

"It's not fair for you to look so good in the morning." She teased.

He opened his eyes and grinned. "I look good?"

She blushed. "Yes."

He laid back down and pulled her against him, his hand tangling in her hair as she rested her head on his chest. "You look pretty good yourself."

He felt her smile against his sternum, and she wrapped her arm around his waist.

They lay in silence for a few moments until Rory spoke again, softly. "This feels like a dream."

"If it's a dream, I don't want to wake up." He kissed the top of her head and they settled into a comfortable silence again, just enjoying the others' presence.

Rory sat up, bringing the sheet with her to cover herself. "Jess?"

He couldn't help but smile at her modesty this morning when she had all but stripped for him the night before. "Yeah?"

"I'm hungry." She pouted.

He raised an eyebrow and pulled her back down to him, lightly biting her neck. "So am I."

She giggled. "That's not what I meant."

"Ah, the infamous Gilmore appetite rears its ugly head."

She swatted his chest playfully. "I need coffee, too."

He nipped her shoulder once more before answering with a groan. "Fine, fine…we can get up. Do you want to take a shower first?"

She nodded and then grinned as he released her and stood up, staring unabashedly at his naked body, the muscles rippling with his every movement.

He smirked as he pulled her up beside him. "Like what you see?"

She wrapped the sheet she had been clutching firmly around herself and felt the blush creep back into her cheeks. "I didn't exactly get a good look last night."

Still smirking, he grabbed his boxers and slipped them on. "Well, I can't exactly walk across the hall naked, so you'll have to control yourself for a bit."

She laughed. "Okay, I'll see what I can do."

He opened the door and peeked his head out to make sure there was no one in the hallway. He grabbed her hand and pulled her behind him and into the bathroom, Rory giggling the entire way.

"Are you planning on joining me in the shower?" she teased as he locked the door behind them.

He didn't answer immediately, but turned the water on and adjusted the temperature. He turned back to her, raising an eyebrow again. "Any objections?"

She dropped the sheet she had been wearing. "Nope." She smiled and stepped under the warm spray of water, beckoning him to follow.

He wasted no time in stripping off his boxers and joining her.

The water felt warm on his skin, but it was nothing compared to the heat he felt having Rory beside him. He lathered her hair with shampoo and she sighed as he worked it through her scalp, leaning back against him briefly before returning the favor.

He grabbed a washcloth and covered it with soap before proceeding to run it slowly all over her body. He took his time, teasing her with his touch, enjoying the way she bit her bottom lip and her breathing was becoming ragged. Not being able to take much more, she pulled him up to her, her eyes darkened, and took the washcloth from his hands. "My turn."

He leaned back against the cold tile, trying to control his arousal as Rory mimicked his earlier movements. He groaned her name as she slid her way back up his body, her hand lingering below his waist. He pulled her to him roughly and crashed his lips against hers, her arms instantly twining around his neck.

The need for her overwhelmed him and he could sense the same urgency in her as she deepened the kiss and clung to him. He turned them around so that her back was against the tiled wall, and he ground his hips against hers, breaking their kiss to run his tongue down her jaw line to the hollow of her neck.

Her leg snaked up his and he slid his hands under her thighs, picking her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. She threw her head back against the tile, moaning his name as he slid into her, her legs tightening around him. She gripped his shoulders for support as he began to thrust into her.

Her nails dug into him, her hips rocking against his as they increased their pace. Last night had been about love and expressing their feelings, but this mating was raw and primal, almost animalistic in their need for each other.

Jess bent his head and took her breast in his mouth, circling the tip with his tongue. She cried out as his teeth skimmed her nipple, grinding herself into him harder. He felt her inner walls clench around him as she moaned his name, the guttural sound sending him over the edge.

He couldn't sustain their combined weight any longer and he slowly pulled out of her, letting her slide down his body. She cradled his head against her shoulder, both slightly panting trying to catch their breath.

Jess slowly felt the feeling in his legs return and he lifted his head to look at Rory. She smiled and pressed her lips to his briefly. "I really need some coffee now."

He laughed and turned the water off, reaching for two towels and handing her one. They both stepped out of the shower and dried off, wrapping the towels around themselves before heading back to Jess' bedroom.

Jess sifted through his dresser, pulling out a jeans and a t-shirt while Rory picked her discarded clothes off the floor.

"Jess, where's my shirt?"

They both stopped and looked at each other for a moment before bursting out into laughter as the realization of where both their shirts were dawned on them.

"Shit." He went back to his drawer and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and another t-shirt which he handed to her. "Well, I'm pretty sure my room mates have found them by now."

Rory was blushing furiously as she slipped into the clothes Jess had given her. "I really hope they didn't notice. I can't face them if they did!"

He loved how adorable she looked, practically swimming in his clothes that were too big for her, her cheeks bright red with embarrassment.

"Don't worry. It'll be fine." He assured. "And you have to face them if they're in the kitchen, because as you can see, I don't have a coffee pot in my bedroom."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, coffee wins."

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Jess led the way towards the kitchen where a pot of coffee was already brewing, but none of the guys were in sight. He grabbed two mugs from a cupboard, poured the coffee, and set one down in front of Rory who had taken a seat at the table.

"Black, right?"

She nodded and took a sip. "Good coffee."

"Thanks." A voice said behind them.

Rory felt the blush creep back into her face and looked to see a dark haired man, about Jess' age, smirking at them.

Jess rolled his eyes at the guy. "Hey, Matt. Thanks for starting the coffee."

Matt grinned. "No problem. Thought you might need it."

Jess shook his head. "Rory, this moron is Matt, Matt this is Rory."

He stepped forward and shook Rory's hand. "Hi." She managed a smile.

"And you were just leaving, right Matt?" Jess motioned towards the door.

Matt opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by two other voices coming from the hallway towards the kitchen.

"Well, well, well…Jess has company!" Two more men joined them and smiled at Rory.

"Aw, jeez…can't you guys find something else to do?" Jess sighed.

"Of course, but it'd be rude not to greet your guest." The tall black man grinned. He leaned towards Rory and held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Leo and this is Chris." Rory shook his hand and smiled at the blonde next to him.

"Hi, I'm Rory."

"Okay, you've all met, now it's time to go." Jess motioned them towards the doorway again.

The guys all promptly ignored Jess and sat down at the table with Rory. Rory bit back a laugh at the frustration on Jess' face.

"Come on, Jess! We just want to get to know your friend here." Chris teased.

Leo joined in. "Yeah, it's not like you bring home a pretty girl every…well, never actually."

Rory joined in the teasing. "So the girls he brings home are usually ugly?"

The guys laughed while Jess leaned against the sink with his arms crossed, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Actually our boy here never brings home any females." Leo explained. "How do you two know each other?"

Rory looked at Jess, wondering how much he actually wanted his friends to know. He shrugged his shoulders as if to say whatever she wanted to say was fine by him.

Rory turned back to the other guys. "Well, Jess and I actually dated back in high school."

Chris clutched his heart dramatically. "Aw, high school sweethearts."

"And now he's my cousin."

Matt spit out the sip of coffee he had just taken, while Leo and Chris sat there with their mouths hanging open. Jess laughed at the looks on their faces.

"You've got to be kidding." Leo said.

"No, she's actually not." Jess's grin matched Rory's. "My uncle just married her mom."

"Wow…well at least it's not by blood." Chris finally spoke.

"Okay, now that we've figured out I'm sort-of related to her, excuse us, we're leaving." Jess pulled Rory up and towards the door.

She turned around and shrugged helplessly. "Sorry. Nice to meet you guys."

As they were about to enter Jess' room, Matt called to Jess. "What?"

Matt grinned and threw something at him. "Figured you might want these back."

Jess looked down and saw it was the shirts they had discarded downstairs the night before. He rolled his eyes at Matt as the latter laughed and returned to the kitchen.

Jess shut the door behind him when they entered his room. "Did you have to tell them the whole cousin thing?" he moaned.

She laughed. "You have to admit it's kind of funny."

He shook his head slowly. "I'll never hear the end of it."

Rory grinned and pulled him down to sit next to her on the bed. "I'm still hungry."

He gave her a brief kiss. "Let's get out of here then and go get some breakfast."

After Rory changed out of her much-too-large sweatpants and back into her jeans, they went to a diner down the street and settled into a booth in the back. They placed their orders and Rory worked up the courage to broach the subject that had been on her mind since they had woken up.

"Jess?"

He sipped his tea and looked up at her. "Yeah?"

"What are we doing?"

Confusion darkened his eyes. "Eating breakfast?"

She shook her head. "No, I mean us. You, me, last night, today… how is this going to work?"

"Do you still want to be with me?" His voice was soft, as if he was still afraid of her changing her mind.

She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "More than anything. I love you, please don't forget that."

He nodded and a smile played on his lips. "How do you want this to work?"

"I told you I'm done lying, so I'll just be honest. I know you have a lot going for you here with the publishing house and I don't want you to ruin that. I don't want to do the long distance thing either. I'm tired of being far away from you."

He tilted his head, his eyes searching hers. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded. "I want to move to Philadelphia."

"You're serious?"

"Yes. Would that be okay?"

Jess grinned and leaned across the table, pressing his lips to hers briefly. "That's more than okay."

The butterflies in her stomach settled at his approval. "I actually got a few job offers, and one of them is for the 'Philadelphia Inquirer', but I haven't accepted it yet."

"Call them and accept!"

She laughed. "It's Sunday, Jess. The personnel office isn't open today!"

"Well then, call them tomorrow."

Her smile mirrored his own. "I will."

Their conversation was interrupted by Rory's cell phone. She glanced down and saw it was her mother. "Hello?"

"Why haven't you called me?" Lorelei demanded.

"I've been a little busy."

"Ooh, dirty!"

"Mom!" Rory stood up and looked at Jess. "It's my mom, I'll be right back." He nodded and she walked outside to continue the conversation.

"Okay, darling daughter, spill. What happened?"

Rory smiled. "He still loves me, Mom."

Lorelei sighed. "Tell me something I didn't know already!"

"Well the short version is that we're back together and I'm moving to Philadelphia."

"Aw, honey, I'm so happy for you." She could hear the smile in Lorelei's voice. "Wait, did you say you were moving to Philadelphia?"

"Yes."

"But, what about the 'New York Times'?"

"The 'Philadelphia Inquirer' offered me a position too, and I'd rather be by Jess. We've wasted so much time already, Mom."

"I just don't want you to give up your dream, honey."

"I'm not. All of it means nothing without him. Plus, this is an excellent newspaper and it will be even more wonderful working for them if I get to come home to Jess." Rory explained.

"Fine, I just want to make sure you know what you're doing."

"I finally do."

"Okay, just don't forget your dear old mother. I want to see both of you soon. I have a few things I'd like to talk to Jess about."

"Mom!"

"Sorry kid, it's my prerogative as the one who gave you life. I'll go easy on him, I promise."

"Fine, just be nice. I have to go, okay?"

"Okay, sweets. Have fun and make sure to tell me all the dirty details!"

"Mom!"

Lorelei laughed. "Bye."

Rory hung up, shaking her head, and went back inside.

"So, what did Lorelei have to say?" Jess asked as Rory sat back down.

She rolled her eyes. "She wants to talk to you."

"Huh."

Rory laughed at the dread written all over his face. "I think she'll be easy on you. After all, she's the one who gave me her car to come up here last night."

Jess narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "You're kidding."

"Nope. She was actually relieved I said no to Logan and happy I finally admitted I was in love with you."

"What do you mean 'no to Logan'?"

Rory realized her mistake immediately and took a sip of her coffee before responding. "Logan proposed last night." She admitted quietly, staring into her cup.

"Huh."

She looked up at Jess, but couldn't read the expression on his face. "Say something, please."

Jess stared at her for a moment, and then managed a smile. "There's a great book store a few blocks from here. Do you want to check it out after we finish eating?"

Rory let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. "Of course."

They spent the rest of the day exploring different book stores Jess recommended and keeping to light-hearted conversation or debating authors and books, quickly falling back into the comfortable rapport from years past. But every so often, Rory would catch a far off look in his eyes. He brushed it off when she questioned it, saying it was nothing, just thinking about a manuscript he had to edit, but she knew there was more to it than that.

She couldn't place her finger on what was wrong, but she couldn't shake the feeling of uneasiness that had settled into the pit of her stomach.

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**A/N: Feedback is delicious!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Gilmore Girls.**

**A/N: Thank you all again for your lovely reviews! I thrive on the feedback, so please keep it coming! I'm sorry it took so long for me to update with this chapter, but life has become hectic again. I'll try to update the next chapter much more quickly.**

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He knew he shouldn't let it bother him, but it kept nagging at him no matter how hard he tried to forget it. He tried to let himself just enjoy the feel of having Rory back in his arms, but his mind wouldn't cooperate. Even laying there in bed, holding her against him, all he could think about was the fact that Logan had proposed to her. He imagined Freud would have a field day with him; the beautiful woman he loved with all his heart in his bed while his thoughts strayed to her jackass ex.

He wished that was the only thing that was bothering him, but that was far from the truth. Ever since that conversation with Lane his mind had been running wild. He knew he had hurt Rory immensely over the years, and it pained him to hear Lane tell him her reactions to each of his departures. But why wouldn't she tell him about the last time? What had Rory done that was so secretive? He had started to ask her at least a dozen times throughout the day, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer. If they stood any chance at being happy together this time he knew they needed to get everything out in the open, but he had a feeling that her revelation would be more than he could handle.

Rory ran her hand across his bare chest. "What are you thinking about?"

Jess deliberated lying to her again, but thought better of it. "Lane." Was all he said.

Rory slapped his chest playfully. "You're thinking of my best friend when we're in bed together?" She laughed.

"No, I'm thinking of what she told me…or rather didn't tell me." He spoke quietly.

"What do you mean?"

Jess sat up and leaned against the headboard. "She told me how upset you were every time I left."

Rory had pulled herself up to sit facing him. "I was. Why are you thinking of that now?"

He took a deep breath before continuing. "She wouldn't tell me what happened the last time I left, Ror. She said it had to come from you. What happened that she wouldn't tell me?"

Rory had closed her eyes and curled her knees up to her chest, her arms wrapped protectively around them. She didn't say a word.

"Rory?" Jess' feeling of dread grew. "Please. Tell me what happened. I need to know."

"I…I don't think you want to know."

"You're right, I don't want to, but I _need_ to know what happened."

She sat silently for a few moments before speaking softly. "I slept with Dean."

Jess was stunned. Of all the things he had imagined, Dean had never once entered his mind. "You had sex with Dean?"

She nodded mutely, avoiding his gaze.

"When, Rory? How soon after I left?" He didn't want the answer, but the words spilled from his lips before he could stop them.

"A couple of days."

He ran his hand through his hair, taking a few breaths to calm himself. "He was married."

She simply nodded.

"Why, Rory?"

She finally looked up at him and he could see the tears that were streaming down her face. "Why? Because he was there!" She cried. "He was there when you weren't!"

"I came back for you! I begged you to leave with me and you said you didn't even want to be with me! That's why I wasn't there!"

"No! Your plan was crazy…I couldn't leave everything behind! You wouldn't even think of staying for me!"

He shook his head. "I would have stayed if you had asked me to."

"Bullshit! You said that we had to start over new somewhere else, not Yale, not Stars Hollow." She sobbed.

"I poured my heart out to you! All I needed was a sign that you still wanted me and I would have done anything to stay with you. You didn't want me…you ran straight back to Dean!" He accused.

"He was safe, Jess! Don't you realize that? Being with Dean was safe! He wouldn't leave me like you did over and over again."

He let her words sink in, trying to see the situation from her side. He knew his plan to run away had been ridiculous. He knew it even as he had proposed the idea to her, but he had needed to make a last attempt to be with her and that was the first thing that had popped into his mind at the time.

"If I had told you I was staying, would you have wanted to be with me then?" He asked softly.

"Yes." Her eyes met his. "I didn't sleep with Dean because I loved him. I slept with Dean because I wanted to prove to myself that I could move on from you…that I didn't love you."

"Did it work?"

Her answering laugh held no humor. "No. I ended up fighting with my mother about it, spending the summer in Europe with my grandmother to avoid Dean and the entire situation, and then his wife Lindsey found the letter I wrote him telling him I couldn't be with him anymore and it destroyed his marriage."

"Huh."

She continued. "We tried to make a relationship work after that, but it didn't. I didn't want to be with him. I stopped caring for Dean that way the day I met you."

"He was your first." His statement was barely above a whisper and he knew that he hadn't been able to keep the pain of that realization out of his voice.

Rory moved closer to him, tilting his chin up so he could look her in the eye. "Yes. But I wanted you to be."

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

The confusion in her eyes made him go on. "I'm sorry for leaving you the first time without telling you why, I'm sorry for coming back to tell you I loved you and then not waiting to hear how you felt, I'm sorry for being a jackass and driving you into Dean's arms, I'm sorry for not being there for you when I should have been, but most of all I'm sorry for letting you go in the first place when I should have done anything possible to stay by your side. I'm so sorry."

His rambling apology shocked her. "I hurt you, too."

He shook his head. "You were just protecting yourself. I…I think I can understand that now."

"Can't we just forget that? Can we just pretend that none of it happened? Can we just start over and put everything behind us?"

The pleading look in her eyes tore at his heart. "No. I don't want to forget. I want to remember everything, even the bad, because that's the only way I know of not repeating the same mistakes."

She smiled softly. "This time will be different."

He nodded and pulled her to him, her back against his chest. "It will be." He kissed the top of her head. "This time is for keeps."

She ran her hand down his leg, gently tracing a pattern. "Good."

They sat in silence for a while before Jess spoke. "Let's go to Stars Hollow tomorrow."

Rory turned her head to look at him. "What?"

"Let's go to Stars Hollow tomorrow and go see your mom and Luke."

"Seriously?"

"Am I not speaking English?" He teased.

She giggled. "Yes, but it's not exactly high on your list of favorite places. And don't you have to work tomorrow?"

"Anywhere you are is my favorite place, and I can take off for a couple of days as long as I take some work with me to stay caught up."

"Well, I am kind of low on clothing."

He smirked. "Ah, so it all comes down to fashion."

"I am a Gilmore you know. It all comes down to coffee and a cute pair of shoes."

"Huh." He bent down and kissed a path from her shoulder up her neck, eliciting a soft moan from Rory.

"Okay, so maybe not all of it…" she breathed before turning around to meet his lips.

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Rory pulled the jeep into her mother's driveway with Jess right behind her in her own car. They had stopped in New Haven on the way to Stars Hollow to pick up Rory's car so they could take it back to Philadelphia. She exited the jeep and watched as Jess walked up to her.

"You ready?" She asked.

"To face a Gilmore with a thousand questions?" He raised an eyebrow. "Uh, no."

She smiled and was about to answer him when the front door opened and Lorelei came bounding down the steps.

"Offspring!"

Rory laughed as she was engulfed in a hug from her mother. "Mom, you just saw me two days ago."

"Yes, but those were two _very_ long days." Lorelei released her daughter and turned to Jess with a genuine smile on her face. "Hi, Jess."

Jess returned her smile, if a bit uneasily. "Hey."

"Luke's at the diner and said we should all go over there for lunch. Have you guys eaten anything yet?"

"No, not yet." Rory answered then turned to Jess. "Is that alright with you?"

Jess nodded. "That's fine."

Rory turned back to her mother. "Mom, do you have any rooms left at the inn?"

"I think we may have one available. Why, don't you want to stay here?"

"Well, Jess has to get some work done since we're staying for a few days and our house can get a little crazy sometimes."

Lorelei pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed. "Michel? Do we have any rooms available? …Great, reserve it under the name of Mariano for the next few days… No, Michel, I am not giving you a credit card number. It's on the house…. Michel! It's my inn!" She sighed. "Michel, just reserve the room!" She closed her phone and returned it to her jeans pocket, shaking her head.

"Lorelei, I can pay for it." Jess stated.

"No, it's okay. I know you can pay for it, but I really want to do this." Lorelei assured.

Jess smiled tightly. "Okay. Thank you."

Rory watched the interaction and smiled to herself. She knew this was her mother's way of saying she accepted her relationship with Jess and she was grateful for the approval. It didn't make a difference in her feelings towards Jess, but it made her happy that she had her mother's blessing.

As they made their way towards Luke's diner, Rory could sense the intense stares the townspeople were giving them. She knew the spectacle most had witnessed at the wedding had given the town enough scandal for a long time, but the sight of her walking in hand in hand with Jess through town , her mother by their side, was enough fodder for the gossip mill to last a lifetime.

She felt Jess tighten his grip on her hand as they entered Luke's and she squeezed back reassuringly. Luke was behind the counter, but immediately came over to them when he saw them enter.

"Hey, honey." Lorelei kissed her husband on the cheek. "Look, what the cat dragged in."

Luke just stood there for a moment, taking in the glow on Rory's face that he hadn't seen in a very long time and the same unquestionable happiness mirrored in his nephew's eyes as the pair stood before him, fingers entwined. He couldn't stop the grin that slowly grew on his face. "Well, I'll be damned."

Rory laughed as he hugged them both briefly, before he turned to the curious diner patrons who were unabashedly looking on. "Mind your own business or get out." The customers quickly turned their attention back to the meals in front of them.

Rory, Jess, and Lorelei took seats at a table by the window and placed their order with Luke. He quickly walked to the back to put in their order and returned to sit with them.

"So…" Luke began, not sure of what to say.

Rory sensed the questions both her mother and Luke had and she looked at Jess briefly for reassurance. He smiled and nodded.

"Well, we're going to stay in town for a few days." Rory began. "I'm going to pack up some of my things to take back with me."

Luke cocked his head. "You're going back to Philadelphia right away?"

Rory nodded. "Jess has to get back to work and I'm going to stay with him until we find our own place."

Lorelei took a sip of her coffee before asking the obvious question. "You're moving in together?"

"I accepted the job in Philadelphia this morning on the way here."

"Huh." Luke leaned back in his chair.

"That's my line." Jess smirked, receiving a scowl from his uncle.

Rory rolled her eyes at Jess before turning back to Luke and her mother. "Look, we know it's really sudden and definitely unexpected, but we've talked about it a lot and to be honest…we've wasted enough time without each other. So yes, we're moving in together."

She waited for their reaction and she felt Jess tense next to her. Neither Luke nor Lorelei spoke for a few moments. Lorelei finally put her coffee cup down. "I think it's a good idea."

They all turned to her in surprise, but it was Luke who spoke. "You do?"

Lorelei nodded. "If we're all being honest and open and all that, yes, I do. It's their lives and it obviously makes them happy. Look how much time _we_ wasted, Luke."

Luke nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He turned to Rory. "You're sure about this?"

Rory smiled and looked at Jess, entwining her fingers with his again. "Yes."

Luke grinned. "Well, I'll be damned." He repeated.

Jess raised an eyebrow at his uncle. "Do we need to get you a thesaurus, Uncle Luke?"

Luke directed his grin at Jess. "I'll let that go right now since…well, hell, since I'm in a good mood. I'm really happy for you guys."

Jess looked at Rory, his smile genuine. "Me, too."

Rory felt herself blush and was about to say something when someone interrupted her.

"Oh my God." Lane entered the diner and stopped in front of their table. "Why am I always the last to know everything?"

Rory grinned at her friend. "Hi, Lane."

Lane put her hands on her hips and cocked her head. "Okay, am I hallucinating or are you and Jess sitting there holding hands?"

Rory stood up and walked over to Lane, telling the others she'd be back shortly. She dragged Lane outside before she could ask more questions and threw her arms around her best friend in a quick hug. "Thanks, Lane."

Lane pulled back. "What for?"

Rory smiled. "For everything. For talking to Jess, for talking to me, for not telling Jess everything…just thanks."

Lane looked at her quizzically. "Are you saying you guys are back together?"

Rory nodded, unable to keep the grin from spreading across her face.

Lane practically squealed and jumped up and down. "Oooh, I want details!"

Rory laughed. "I promise I'll give them to you, but not today. Today, I just want to bask."

Lane laughed and hugged Rory again. "You're really happy, aren't you?"

"I don't think I've ever been this happy." She began honestly. "You were right. Jess is it for me. That's why I'm moving to Philadelphia."

"What?"

"We came back to see everyone and to pack up my things. I'm moving in with him and going to work at a paper in Philadelphia."

"Wow. This is all…so fast!" Lane exclaimed. "But, I can see how happy you are, so I'll only ask one more question."

Rory raised an eyebrow. "Sure, what?"

Lane smirked. "So…how is he?"

"Lane!"

"Oh, come on! You can't _not_ tell me! You guys waited for like six years to be together and I am positive you're getting back together involved some kind of sex or you wouldn't be glowing the way you are!" Lane reasoned.

Rory shifted her weight from foot to foot, embarrassed to be talking about this in the middle of the street where she knew any of her well-meaning, but nosy neighbors could overhear, but she couldn't stop the grin from returning to her face. "He's…he's…well, he's Jess."

"And…" Lane prodded.

Rory looked her in the eye. "He's amazing."

Lane beamed. "I knew you two couldn't keep your hands off each other for much longer."

Rory rolled her eyes. "Oh, stop! We're not animals." She looked back into the diner and saw Jess sitting alone with her mother, obviously engaged in an intense conversation. "Crap, I might have led him to the lion's den though."

Lane followed Rory's gaze. "Well, I think it's about time those two talked. Come on, we'll let them talk and you can fill me in on all the details."

Rory smiled at Lane and followed her to the gazebo, but kept sneaking glances at Jess and her mother. She knew her mother was being accepting of her new relationship with him, but that didn't mean that she was necessarily being nice to him in there. She knew how protective her mother was about her, and the misery Lorelei knew she had lived the last few weeks might be cause enough for her mom to read Jess the riot act.

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**A/N: Feedback is delicious!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Yet again, I own nothing…**

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delay, but I just started a new job two weeks ago and the adjustment has been brutal. I will try to get the next chapter up much more quickly. Thank you again for the lovely reviews!**

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Jess drummed his fingers lightly on the table, definitely uncomfortable at being left alone with Lorelei. Luke had returned to work and Rory was outside talking to Lane, so that left him all alone with Lorelei…who was obviously enjoying his unease.

"Nervous about something?" Lorelei teased.

Jess raised an eyebrow but didn't answer.

Lorelei set her coffee mug down and leaned across the table towards him. "It's okay, Jess. I'm not going to yell, curse, or tell you that you're not worthy of my daughter."

"Then what are you going to say?"

Lorelei sighed and shook her head slowly. "What I never thought I would hear myself say." She looked Jess in the eye. "I think Rory made the right choice."

Jess' eyes widened. "Did hell just freeze over? I thought you hated me."

"Oh, trust me, I did."

Jess was confused. This was definitely not the direction he had thought this conversation would go in. "So why do you think she made the right choice?"

"You're not the same jerk who I thought was bad for my baby; you're not the same jackass who ripped her heart out when you left. You've grown up…hell, maybe I just finally see that side of you that Rory always knew was there." Lorelei admitted reluctantly.

"Huh."

"Now that's the Jess I remember…mono-syllabic boy." Lorelei grinned.

Jess shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Seriously Lorelei, how do you know I've changed?"

"Honestly?" Jess nodded and Lorelei continued. "I know how much you love my daughter. She told me you came to graduation and told her you'd leave her be so she could be happy with Logan. Only a man who truly loved her could step aside so she could have a shot at happiness."

Jess nodded again, but stared into his tea cup, swallowing the lump in his throat at the memory of how hard that moment had been for him.

"Jess? I also read the dedication."

He looked up at Lorelei, the shock and dismay evident in his face. "Y-you read it?"

She smiled softly. "It was beautiful, Jess. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Luke showed it to me after the whole wedding incident."

"I didn't write it to get her back."

Lorelei raised her eyebrow. "Really?"

Jess felt himself blush. "Well…well, maybe a part of me hoped it could happen, but I never really thought it would."

"She loves you."

He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his features. "I know."

"I just want you to promise me something."

"I knew this was going too easily."

"Jess." Her voice held a note of warning. "I could go back to hating you, you know?"

He smirked. "At least I'm used to that."

Lorelei ignored his comment. "Promise me."

"What do you want me to promise?"

"I want you to promise me that you'll love her for who she is, not who you want her to be. Don't try and change her. Logan did that and it made her miserable. Rory is special just the way she is." Lorelei looked at him expectantly.

"I wouldn't change a thing about her…ever. I love her for who she is and the man I am because of her. I can promise you I will never try to change anything about her."

The intensity behind Jess' words almost brought tears to Lorelei's eyes. "If I had known this side of you years ago, I might not have hated you so much."

Jess smirked. "I didn't exactly let too many people in then."

Lorelei smiled. "You let Rory in."

Jess looked back down to his cup. "She…she was different."

"I'm glad you two find your way back to each other."

Jess looked at Lorelei, still surprised that this woman who he knew had despised him for so long could now approve of his and Rory's relationship. "That means a lot. Thanks, Lorelei."

Lorelei opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the bell jingling on the door, signaling Rory's return. She slid back into her seat next to Jess.

"Did you miss me?" Rory smiled at Jess.

Jess gave her his trademark smirk. "Were you not here?"

She playfully slapped his arm and he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers briefly. "Of course I missed you."

Rory noticed the goofy grin on Lorelei's face. "What, mom?"

"Nothing, sweets. Just enjoying your Joanie loves Chachi moment."

Rory rolled her eyes and Jess chuckled. "I really need to get some work done, so I'm going to head over to the inn." Jess said.

"Your room should be all ready." Lorelei stated.

"Thanks again for that." He nodded at Lorelei, and then turned to Rory. "I'm going to take the car over there and take our stuff in. Do you want me to pick you up later?"

Rory smiled. "No, I'll be fine. I'll just head over there later."

"Take your time." Jess smirked. "I'll leave you ladies to talk about me now." He kissed Rory briefly and left, nodding to Luke, who was behind the counter, on his way out.

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"Smart man you have there." Lorelei teased.

Rory grinned. "Just one of his many wonderful qualities."

"Dirty!"

"Mother! That is not what I meant."

"Fine, fine. So what do you want to do today?"

"Well, I actually don't have much to pack since all of my stuff is still in boxes. Suggestions?" Rory took a bite out of the pancakes that Luke had placed in front of her.

"Well…I was thinking that we could go shopping. I saw a cute blue dress I have to have at the mall the other day."

"Why didn't you buy it then?"

"Because I'd already bought it in red." Lorelei grinned.

"Fine, we're hitting the mall then."

Several hours later, Rory struggled up the staircase of the "Dragonfly Inn" towards room number 7. She shifted the bags in her hands and unlocked the door, practically stumbling through it as soon as she managed to open it.

Jess looked up from his laptop in surprise as Rory set her bags on the bed.

She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, did I scare you?"

"Just startled me a little." Jess admitted.

Rory walked over to him and kissed his cheek. "Well, I know you need to get some work done, so I'm just going to go change into the new pj's I bought so we can just relax in the room when you're done."

Jess smirked and playfully slapped her rear as she walked away, making Rory giggle. "Thanks. I just have a little bit more to go and then I'll be done."

Rory picked up one of the bags and walked towards the bathroom, pausing at the door to turn towards Jess and watch him silently. He had turned back to his laptop and was concentrating intently on whatever was on his screen, so quickly absorbed back into his work that he didn't notice her leaning against the bathroom door frame, a contented smile on her lips as she watched him.

He looked so serious, a pencil clenched between his teeth as he typed furiously for a moment, grabbing the pencil a moment later to scribble some notes on the pad next to him. Being a writer and editor suited him, Rory thought to herself. His passion for it was evident and she loved watching him work. She snapped out of her silent reverie a few moments later and entered the bathroom, quietly shutting the door behind her.

She undressed and slipped into her new nightclothes, pausing to look at herself in the mirror. She bit her lip nervously and brushed her hair. After a quick adjustment to her make-up she stared at her reflection once more.

She took a few deep breaths and steadied her nerves. She'd never done something like this before and the excitement and nerves all mingled in her belly, but it wasn't enough to dissuade her from her plan.

She looked into the mirror one last time and opened the door to the bathroom. She leaned casually against the door frame again.

"Are you done yet?" She asked softly.

Jess looked up, the pencil between his lips falling to the floor as he stared at Rory, his mouth agape.

She smiled, her heart fluttering at his obvious approval. She had deliberated for over an hour on whether or not to buy the racy negligee, but her mother's teasing and the four trips back and forth to the lingerie store as she made up her mind and then changed it again were all worth it for the reaction she was getting.

"What ?" She asked innocently, the spark in her eyes betraying the naiveté in her voice.

Rory stood before him in a sheer black baby doll edged in blue lace, her matching g-string peeking beneath the hem. None of Jess' fantasies could rival the vision before him. He opened and closed his mouth several times before the ability to speak returned to him in some form. "Wow…you…that…wow…"

Rory walked up to him slowly, offering him a view of the black heels that completed the outfit and had been obscured from his view until then. He swallowed thickly, trying to grasp that this was his Rory, his sweet, once-naïve Rory playing seductress and rendering him speechless.

She closed his laptop and straddled him, slowly lowering herself to sit on his lap. She ran her hands up his arms and to his chest, one hand coming up again to trace his cheekbone. "Do you like it?" She whispered.

Jess eyes were wide and all he could do was nod for a moment. "You look amazing." He finally managed.

She grinned. "I was hoping you'd like it."

His eyes glazed over as she bit her bottom lip softly and he couldn't resist the temptation any longer. He pulled her to him roughly and crashed his lips to hers, both startled at the passion that erupted the moment their lips met.

Rory tangled her fingers in his hair, loving the sensual abandon she felt with him. She never felt more alive than when she was in his arms, touching him, tasting him.

She pulled back just long enough to pull his shirt over his head and toss it aside before meeting his lips in another fevered kiss. She ran her hands down his back and up his arms, the feel of his bare skin sending shivers down her spine.

He broke their kiss, trailing his lips down the silky column of her throat to the shallow valley between her breasts, eliciting a soft moan from her lips. Her hands strayed lower, desperate to undo his belt. Their lips met again as Jess helped her undo his belt and unzip his pants, wanting to maintain some form of contact as she lifted herself to allow him the room to slide his pants down his legs.

She could feel his erection, rock-hard, pressing against her through his boxers and she ground herself against him, his lips pausing against hers, a low growl vibrating in his throat.

He pulled back for a moment, his eyes black with lust. "If you keep doing that, I'm not responsible for my actions." He murmured.

Her lips curved in a sultry smile and she rocked her hips against his rhythmically, her eyes never leaving his.

He bit her bottom lip softly between his own and whispered into her ear. "Don't say I didn't warn you." He ran his hand down her side and in one swift movement ripped her panties from her body, flinging them into a corner of the room.

Rory's eyes went wide, but before she could protest his fingers had found her most sensitive spot and her head rolled back at the delicious sensations coursing through her body.

He watched her, his eyes hooded, as she writhed against his hand, panting for breath as he brought her near the edge several times, pulling back each time until she couldn't take it any longer.

"Jess…please…" She groaned softly, pulling at his underwear.

He brought his hand to his lips, slowly licking her juices from his fingers, his eyes locked with hers. She watched, enthralled at his actions, her arousal at a fever pitch.

She stood up suddenly, bringing him with her, and roughly pushed his boxers down his legs. He kicked them to the side before she pushed him back down to the chair and she straddled him once more, slowly sinking onto him in one fluid motion.

Jess threw his head back and heard himself groan as he felt himself fully sheathed inside her. She clutched his shoulders as she slowly began to move, alternating between rocking her hips and sliding up and down his length. Jess gripped her waist, his hands guiding her motions.

Rory arched her back, reveling in the feel of him and he took that opportunity to untie the strings at her chest, freeing her breasts. He took one breast in his mouth, gently laving the tip, her fingers threading themselves in his hair.

He lifted his head briefly and she bent down to capture his lips, their tongues dueling for control as she ground herself into him harder. He lifted his hips to match her movements and she threw her head back once more, every nerve in her body tingling.

He almost lost all control as he watched her lose herself in the moment, completely wanton and more beautiful than he had ever seen her. He gripped her waist more tightly and increased the force of his thrusts as she rocked against him, softly moaning his name.

She could feel the tension coiling deliciously in the pit of her stomach and as it slowly began to unfurl she bit down on Jess' shoulder, not able to resist the primal urge.

He felt the waves of her orgasm begin to subside and he whispered once more in her ear. "My turn."

She pulled back slightly as he increased his pace and just as her legs were starting to not resemble jell-o, she felt his hand on her cleft, her arousal peaking once more. She ground against him, his fingers working their magic and they came together, Jess muffling her scream against his lips.

They clung to each other, their breathing erratic, sweat glistening off their bodies and Jess raised his head to look into her eyes.

"You're so beautiful."

She smiled softly, tears glistening in her eyes at the emotion she heard in his voice. "I love you, Jess."

He brought his lips to hers softly in answer.

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**A/N: Not the end, definitely more to come! Feedback is delicious!**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own nothing except this story line.

A/N: I apologize for pulling a disappearing act and not updating sooner, but I started a new job and not only has my schedule been brutal but life has also been hectic. I will try to update again much, much sooner. Thank you again for all your lovely reviews!

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Jess continued chopping the vegetables for the salad he was making to go with the pasta already boiling on the stove, although his mind was definitely not on the blade that kept coming precariously close to his knuckles.

He stopped chopping abruptly as he heard a fumbling of keys in the lock and the front door open. A soft smile played across his lips as he heard Rory call out, "Hello? Anyone home?"

"In here." He called and resumed slicing and dicing as he heard Rory drop her things on the living room table and make her way to their tiny kitchen. He looked up and bit back a laugh as he watched her walk and simultaneously try to take her heels off as she made her way towards him, tripping more than once.

She smiled as he caught her eye and gave him a quick kiss in greeting before hopping up on the counter next to him and watching him work.

"How was your day?"

She rummaged in the cupboard next to her and pulled out a bag of cookies and began nibbling on one before answering him. "It was good. Long and busy day, but good."

"Any new bylines I should be aware of?"

"Just my usual, nothing really new." She shoved another cookie in her mouth and he laughed. "What?" she asked, her mouth full of chocolate chip.

He waved a carrot at her, "You do realize I'm making dinner, right?"

She pouted. "Well, yeah...but I'm hungry."

"Dinner will be ready in about 5 minutes."

She rubbed her flat stomach and exaggerated her pout. "But I'm hungry right now."

He rolled his eyes, but laughed. "6 months of living with you and I still can't get used to those Gilmore eating habits."

She grinned. "Not even a doctor can fathom how my mom and I don't weigh 300 pounds."

"It would definitely require a complex medical study." He agreed.

It was part of their now daily routine and one of the things Jess looked forward to most every day. He had never thought he would come to cherish something so mundane and ordinary, but he loved their daily banter as he prepared dinner every night because even after six months of trying to teach her, Rory still couldn't even boil water.

Jess smiled inwardly at the thought that a woman so intelligent couldn't even make toast without burning it. . It was one of the little quirks he loved most about her.

"What are you thinking about?" Rory asked as she picked up another cookie.

He smiled and came to stand in between her legs, his hands resting on her waist. "Just how cute you look when you're ravenously hungry." He kissed the tip of her nose.

Rory raised an eyebrow. "Other women might take offense at that remark. I, on the other hand, am just glad I found the one man who thinks a never-ending appetite is a good thing."

Jess chuckled as Rory put the now forgotten cookie down and leaned into him for a kiss. He tightened his hold on her and deepened the kiss until one of the pots on the stove began to hiss as the water boiled over its side.

Jess leaned over without breaking contact with her lips and turned all the knobs to off before picking Rory up, her legs firmly wrapped around his waist.

Rory giggled against his lips as Jess carried her toward their bedroom. "Jess! What about dinner?"

He grinned as he kicked the bedroom door open. "We can always order pizza later."

The next morning, Jess parked his car outside of the house Rory had grown up in. He turned the engine off and sat in the car for a few moments trying to calm his nerves.

"Ok, Jess…calm down, this is no big deal. Get yourself together." He muttered to himself before taking a deep breath and exiting the car.

He walked to the door and before he could knock, Lorelei opened the door. She smiled at him. "I saw you pull up."

He smiled tentatively at Lorelei. "Oh."

Lorelei shook her head. "Well, don't just stand there, come in!" She ushered Jess inside and called for Luke, who came quickly down the stairs a moment later.

"Hey, Jess." He gave his nephew a quick hug and then followed Lorelei into the living room.

"So," Lorelei asked as Jess took a seat opposite her and Luke." When you called and asked if you could stop by, as much as we like your visits, I had to ask myself why."

"Lorelei…" Jess began.

"No, no…let me guess. You came without Rory and asked us not to mention it to her that you were coming here so I have to think you've finally decided to join the circus as 'hair gel man' and need our help to break the news to Rory right?" Lorelei grinned. "I'm right, aren't I?"

Luke rolled his eyes. "Come on Jess, tell us what's going on."

"Well, I would if your wife wasn't so intent on making up crazy stories." Jess shook his head, but couldn't stop his lips from curving into a smile. He was used to Lorelei's eccentricities by now.

He took a deep breath and looked at his uncle and Lorelei. "Well, I wanted to ask you guys something. I, uh, well…you see, Lorelei…you're Rory's mother…"

"So that was what the sixteen hours of screaming in pain were about." Lorelei interrupted with a grin.

It was Jess' turn to roll his eyes before he looked down at his hands again to stop his nerves from not letting him go on. "Anyways, so like I said, you're Rory's mother…and um…Uncle Luke, well, you've always been like a father to Rory…so…" he glanced at the other two for a moment and then let his eyes fall back down to his hands. " So…you know Rory and I have been together for a while now, six months to be exact. We um…well, it's not like it's a secret how much I care about her."

He finally looked up at his uncle, whose face he couldn't read, and to Lorelei, who was biting her lip and now holding Luke's hand. Jess took another quick breath and looked at both of them head on. "You know I love your daughter. I would do anything in my power to keep her safe and happy. I came here for your permission to ask Rory to marry me."

Lorelei smacked Luke in the arm as tears formed in her eyes. "I told you!"

Luke rubbed his arm and glared at his wife. "How was I to know he would really come and ask us first?"

Lorelei shook her head in disbelief. "Seriously, when am I ever wrong?"

"Oh come on, do you really want me to answer that?"

Jess cleared his throat. "Hey, remember me? Anxious guy waiting to hear what your answer is?"

Luke and Lorelei both turned to him, finally remembering Jess was still there. Lorelei quickly got up and pulled Jess into a hug. "Oh honey, I'm sorry! Yes, of course, the answer is yes."

Jess pulled back and was quickly grabbed into another hug by his uncle. "I'm proud of you, Jess."

"For what?" Jess asked as Luke released him.

"For growing into the man you have, for realizing what you have with Rory, and especially for knowing how important it would be to Lorelei for you to ask her first." Luke grinned.

Jess smiled sheepishly as Lorelei bounced up and down with excitement, tears gleaming in her eyes. "Oh, I can't believe my baby is going to get married!"

"She hasn't said yes yet, you know. I haven't even asked her."

Lorelei frowned. "Oh please, of course she'll say yes. She's crazy about you." Lorelei pulled Jess down to the couch next to her. "Listen Jess, I know I wasn't exactly accepting of you at first, all those years ago, but you've changed. And I've gotten to see the kind of person you really are." Lorelei smiled at him, sensing his unease. "I do know how much you love my daughter and I know she loves you just as much. You make her happy. You have my blessing, and Luke's, because we know you two are right for each other."

Jess returned her smile. "Thank you. That, uh, it means a lot."

"Good, now we have to get started on wedding plans. We have so much to do! Oh my gosh, when are you going to ask her?" Lorelei rambled. "You have to do it soon so we can start planning and oh boy, did you get a ring yet? We really need to start planning soon because it takes so much to plan a wedding, and …"

Jess tuned out her rambling and looked at Luke, who grinned knowingly at him. Yup, Gilmore girls were definitely in a league of their own.

Rory read the last two lines before going back to typing frantically on her laptop. The piece she was working on for the morning's paper was one of the biggest she had been assigned since starting work at the paper and she wanted the interview with the city commissioner to be perfect.

She was concentrating so intently that she didn't see the woman standing at the entrance to her cubicle until she cleared her throat.

"Oh hi, Maggie." Rory smiled as she looked up at her editor.

Maggie returned Rory's smile. "Do you have a minute?"

She closed her laptop and motioned for Maggie to take a seat at the chair next to her desk. "Sure. Just finishing up the interview with the city commissioner."

"Good. I wanted to run something by you."

"What is it?"

"Well, Rory, you've been doing a great job since you got here, your pieces are well-written, thought-provoking, and have just enough of your opinion to reach out to our readers."

Rory glowed at the praise. "Thanks, Maggie. I love working here."

"That's why I wanted to offer you this special assignment. I want a fresh opinion on the war…it's all been done, all sides covered, but I want to see it through the eyes of the younger generation and I want you to write it." Maggie explained.

"Wow, I'd love that. It's a great opportunity, thank you."

"I'm happy you feel that way. You'd be leaving in a little under two weeks, so I wanted to make sure you could tie up all loose ends at the office until you come back."

Rory raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Leaving?"

Maggie laughed softly. "Of course. How can you cover the war if you're here in Philadelphia? Don't worry, you'll have special guards and translators with you at all times and you'll be traveling at times with the military so your safety is definitely our top priority." She explained further. "Your first stop will be Afghanistan and from there you'll head to Iraq."

Rory tried to absorb the information. Afghanistan? Iraq? It was her dream come true, reporting from the front lines, following in the footsteps of her idol Christiane Amanpour. She couldn't believe this opportunity was being presented to her so early in her career. It would be insane for her to turn it down. But…Jess. How could she leave Jess for so long so soon after they had found their way back to each other? How would he react to her being in constant danger on the front lines of an actual war?

Maggie broke through her thoughts. "I don't expect you to answer me today because I know it's a lot to take off for a few months like this. Take tonight to sleep on it and let me know by tomorrow morning." Maggie stood up and started to walk out of Rory's cubicle, then turned back to Rory. "It's a great opportunity, Rory. Just remember that."

Rory smiled tightly. "I know, Maggie. Thank you."

As her boss left, Rory pondered what she was going to do. She couldn't pass up this opportunity, could she? But then again, how could she leave Jess?

It was all Rory could think about as she made her way home that evening. She unlocked the door to their apartment and took a deep breath to steady her nerves as she knew Jess could read her like a book and she didn't want him to see the confusion she was feeling.

As she walked inside she saw Jess was waiting for her on the couch.

"Hey baby." He grinned, standing up to give her a quick kiss.

She set her briefcase down and took in his slacks and suit jacket. "Why are you all dressed up?"

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "Because I'm taking you out for dinner tonight."

She smiled, running her fingers lightly across his cheek. "What's the occasion?"

Jess' smirk reached his eyes. "I just want to take my favorite girl out for a change."

Her lips met his in a soft kiss. She pulled back and started walking towards the bedroom. "Okay, just give me a second to change."

When she returned to the living room, Jess' smile told her she had picked the right dress. The simple black dress swirled around her calves, its' soft lines hugging her curves in a softly elegant way.

"Shall we?" Jess held the door open for her and took her hand as they made their way to the restaurant only a few blocks away.

The Italian restaurant he had picked had become one of Rory's favorites in the short time since they had lived there. The food was excellent and the atmosphere was relaxed but romantic. Their dinner was spent softly talking, the conversation ranging from their days at work to the books they were both currently reading. Although her thoughts kept drifting back to the assignment in the Middle East, she didn't want to bring it up yet because she didn't want to ruin the wonderful time they were having.

As Rory was finishing her dessert, Jess pulled a small notebook out of the inside of his jacket pocket. He fumbled with it and she could see a hint of nervousness in his movements and hidden in his eyes.

"What is it Jess?" she asked.

He swallowed. "Well, I, uh, I have something I want to show you. It's something I want to get your opinion on."

"Sure, what is it?"

"You know the book I've been working on?" At her nod, he continued. "Well, I think I came to a stand still and I wanted your opinion on how it could, well…end."

Her eyes brightened. She loved reading his writing and his wanting her input was incredibly flattering. "I'd love to, but are you sure you want me to read it here?"

He nodded and handed her the book, flipping towards a page in the back. "Just read from here."

She took the book and looked curiously at his still nervous expression before beginning to read.

The story she had been discreetly following over the last few weeks flowed on the page she was reading, but then abruptly stopped and resumed towards the middle of the page in a completely different tone and setting.

The young couple in the story was sitting in the middle of a restaurant when he surprised his girlfriend by dropping to one knee. The names of the characters suddenly switched from those she had known had been in the story. "Rory, I love you." The fictional man said. "I feel like I waited my entire life for you and I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you so many years ago."

Rory looked up at Jess and he just smiled softly. "Keep reading."

She began to read again, a lump slowly forming in her throat as she read the rest of the character's words. "I didn't deserve you then and I don't know if I deserve you know, but I do know that if I let you go again it would be the biggest mistake of my life. I love you more than I could ever tell you, but I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much you mean to me and trying to make you as happy as you make me. Will you marry me?"

She once again looked back to Jess, her eyes filled with tears, and saw that Jess was down on one knee, a ring box open in one of his hands.

"I know our life together won't be a storybook, but I want to work through everything life throws at us by your side. I love you, Lorelei Leigh Gilmore. Will you marry me?"

Rory's gaze swept from the beautiful ring Jess held to the hope and love shining in Jess' eyes. It took her breath away. Her heart was screaming her answer, but her lips refused to cooperate.

A/N: Reviews are delicious!!


	16. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

I'm sorry this isn't the chapter you are expecting, but I wanted to let you know that yes, it _**is**_ coming.

I am so sorry for leaving all of you at such a cliffhanger and for so long. It was never my intention. I did write myself into a corner, so to speak, and didn't know which way I was going to go, but I have a very clear vision of where the story is going now and the next chapter will be posted in the next few days.

Again, I apologize for leaving this story for so long and even I can't believe that it has literally been years. I won't bother giving excuses, but as you all know, life sometimes gets in the way of the best intentions. Not excuses, but some of my reasons for pulling such a disappearing act include being diagnosed with a chronic illness, getting pregnant and having my first child (he's almost two now!), and moving literally across the country thanks to my husband's job transfer. It's been a crazy few years, but I want, and NEED, to get this story finished.

Thank you to those who have recently reviewed and basically kicked my butt back into gear, and thank you to all of you who have waited for my lazy bum to get back into this and finish this story.

Now, Jess and Rory are bitching at me to get on with it and to be honest, their voices are really whiny and annoying in my head right now so I'd better go write what they want. ;-)

Look for the next chapter in the next few days!

JenCala


	17. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I own nothing pertaining to Gilmore Girls, blah, blah, blah. ;-)**

_**A/N: **I can not believe it has been over 3 years since I updated this piece. I am a fic reader who absolutely hates when stories are just never updated again (I still mourn a never-finished Buffy story I read back in 2004!) and yet I did the very thing that irritates me. I sincerely apologize to any readers I kept hanging, and for those who are continuing the story from here, I thank you. Now, back to the story!_

Jess didn't even realize he was holding his breath as he waited for Rory to answer. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears and he could see elation mixed with the surprise etched in her features so he couldn't understand her hesitation.

He knew marriage was a gigantic step and for most of his life he had never even considered the possibility that he would want to tie himself to one woman in that way. Then came Rory. Even now that he bore little resemblance to the tough-acting teenager he had been, he didn't like to think of himself as emotional or that there was any sort of chink in his armor. Except he knew when it came to her he couldn't help wearing his heart on his sleeve. He knew Rory loved him; the niggling little voice of self-doubt that would sometimes creep into his thoughts never once questioned Rory's feelings for him. He knew all the negatives; they were young, still establishing their careers, had a rocky past, and hadn't been together long by most standards.

But the most important thing Jess knew was that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Rory.

"You know, this position is starting to get a little uncomfortable." Jess spoke softly, hoping the light teasing would break Rory out of her own reverie.

"Oh, Jess!" She cried, the tears finally spilling over onto her cheeks.

Jess sat back down on his chair and leaned towards her, gently wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"What is it, Ror?" he asked softly. "Is it too soon? Do you not want to get married? Just talk to me, please."

Rory shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. Jess had lowered his gaze and was staring at the engagement ring in his hand. She gently raised his chin with her hand so she could look him in the eye.

"It's nothing like that, you silly man." Rory smiled briefly. "I love you and want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you."

Jess looked confused. "Then what is it? Why haven't you said yes if that's true?"

Rory took a deep breath. "I got an offer from Maggie today. She wants me to write a series on the war in the Afghanistan from a youth perspective."

"That's great, Ror. I know you'll do a fantastic job, but what in the hell does that have to do with us getting married?" Jess' brows furrowed and he shook his head slightly, completely baffled.

"I have to go to Afghanistan and Iraq...for probably six months if not longer."she averted her gaze and looked down at her hands. "I don't want to leave you now that we just got back together. We're finally getting things right and I can't marry you if I'm half a world away."

It was Jess' turn to lift her chin to face him. "You silly woman." He chuckled softly. "You've been working towards this your entire life. This is an insane opportunity at your age and so early in your career. I know I'm a selfish bastard, but I would never hold you back from doing this. I _know_ how much it means to you and a few months apart won't change how I feel about you."

Rory's eyes filled with tears again."Really, Jess? You're okay with me going?"

Jess rolled his eyes and grinned. "You're not silly, you're crazy. Of course I'm okay with it. Am I going to miss you? Of course! But I love you, Ror. I know you have always wanted to be like Christiane Amanpour and be a foreign correspondent and this is your chance to do it. How could I love you and hold you back from your dreams? It's ridiculous."

Rory threw her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. "I love you so much, Jess." She murmured.

Jess smiled and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I love you too, crazy woman." He could feel her smile against his skin. "So does this mean I get an answer?"

Rory pulled back and gave him a saucy smile. "Will you ask me again?"

Jess felt his heart constrict at the look in her eye. He released her and got back down on one knee, firmly taking her hand in his and holding the ring in his other. "I love you, Rory Gilmore. It doesn't matter if we're a world apart or in each others arms; I will spend the rest of my life loving you and trying to make you as happy as you make me. Will you please marry me?"

Rory grinned through the tears that were rapidly cascading down her cheeks. "Yes! Of course, yes!"

Jess felt as if his heart were literally about to burst and he couldn't stop the grin from lighting up his face as he jumped up and pulled Rory into his arms. They stood wrapped in each others' arms, barely hearing the smattering of applause as the other restaurant patrons looked on at the emotional scene.

Jess pulled back and pressed his lips to hers, not caring that all eyes were on them.

Rory broke away first and whispered, "Can I have my ring now?" She wiggled her left hand in his face.

Jess laughed and slid the ring onto her finger. "I knew you only said yes for the jewelry."

Rory grinned and admired the diamond solitaire sparkling on her hand. "Of course!"

Jess just shook his head, still chuckling softly, and pulled her back into his arms.

_6 months later..._

Rory laughed to herself as she read her mom's latest email. Lorelei was five months pregnant and if her normal food habits weren't enough to drive Luke crazy, then her pregnancy cravings would definitely send him over the edge. Her mother's description of her 2 am hankering for a cheeseburger drenched in hot sauce and chili and Luke's ensuing rant of how she was already indoctrinating their unborn child into the Gilmore craziness with her unhealthy eating had a grin lighting up Rory's face.

A laugh actually escaped Rory's lips as she read her mother's defense that all the apples she was constantly craving canceled out the burgers, chili, fries, and pizza she was eating.

"Reading something funny, Miss Gilmore?"

Rory looked up at Private Bartell who was seated next to her in the rear of the military Humvee and she smiled. "Just an email from my mother. She's pregnant and her cravings are driving my stepfather a little nuts." she explained.

Pvt. Bartell smiled as he adjusted his M-16 from his left to his right hand. "You must be homesick."

She glanced at the diamond solitaire shining on her left hand. "Yes, I am. I go home in a few weeks though, so I'll see my family then. How much longer is your tour?"

Rory had been in Afghanistan for almost six months and she had traveled and been embedded with a few different units. She had been with Pvt. Bartell's unit the longest and had gotten to know quite a few of the soldiers. It was a hard life and she knew that no matter how tough the soldiers were, they all battled homesickness.

"This is my first tour. I've only got a month left and then I get to go home and see my family for awhile." He smiled wistfully. "I have a new baby girl I haven't met yet."

"What's her name?"

Pvt. Bartell responded. "Olivia Marie. She's 5 months old last week." He smiled shyly. "Would you like to see a picture?"

Rory grinned. "I'd love to!"

He pulled a picture from his pocket that she could tell had been looked at many times. "This is my daughter Olivia."

Rory couldn't help the "aw" that escaped her as she saw the pretty baby with her blonde curls and big blue eyes. "She's adorable."

Pvt. Bartell beamed and his own blue eyes gazed longingly at the picture. "That's my girl. I can't wait to see her and her Momma when I get back to Fort Bragg."

"You two having fun with the girly talk back there?" A voice from the front called back to them.

Rory rolled her eyes and smiled at the teasing from Lieutenant Bryant in the front passenger seat. "Pvt. Bartell was just showing me a picture of his daughter, Lieutenant."

Lieutenant Bryant smiled. "That is a pretty little girl you have yourself, Private. Thank God she looks nothing like you."

Their driver, Corporal Lansing, looked in the rear view mirror and laughed loudly at the scowl he saw on Pvt. Bartell's face.

Rory chuckled softly. By now she was used to the teasing and constant digs the soldiers made at each others expense. It helped alleviate their constant tension and she knew most of it was meant in good fun.

She couldn't believe she had been away from Jess for almost six months. She had left almost exactly two weeks from the night he proposed. She missed him terribly and even though she longed to see him, they survived with daily emails and occasional talks on the satellite phone.

Rory glanced down at the body armor covering her long sleeved white shirt and khaki pants. She was wearing a helmet and ballistic glasses for protection as well since the military didn't take any chances with civilians at any time, but especially during a long supply convoy. They were traveling in a 10 vehicle convoy from Kabul to Kandahar for a supply drop and Rory was riding in the seventh vehicle. She couldn't remember what it was like to not be breathing in dust all the time. Her biggest impression of the country so far was sand and dust. Lots and lots of sand and dust.

She had been living in tents for the last few months and felt as if she could never wash the sand off. Her sleeping schedule was erratic and she never knew when they would be up and moving to another camp or site so she had to be ready to go at a moment's notice. She had been witness to air strikes, fire fights and multiple explosions and she knew she was in constant danger...and for the most part, she loved it.

Jess had been completely right. This had been her dream for as long as she could remember and she was finally living it. She was sleep deprived, dusty, and physically tired all the time but every night as she sat in her tent typing up her copy to send to her editor, the adrenaline still rushed through her veins. She missed her mom, Luke, her friends, a hot shower, and especially Jess, but she knew she was where she wanted to be and she felt secure knowing that even though they were thousands of miles apart, the love between her and Jess was real and tangible.

Lorelei had had mixed feelings when Rory had told her about her decision to take the assignment. On one hand, she was thrilled that Rory was finally realizing her dream so early in her career, but on the other she was terrified for her daughter's safety. Rory understood though. She knew Lorelei had always known this day might one day come, but the reality was much harsher when her mother was faced with it. Lorelei expressed her concerns, but in the end she knew it was what Rory had to do and she wasn't about to hold her daughter back from realizing a lifelong ambition.

Even though she was always battling homesickness, Rory was so glad that Jess had given her the push she needed to take this assignment. She knew she would have always regretted it if she hadn't.

The wedding wasn't on the back burner either. Even though she was thousands of miles away, she and Lorelei were constantly emailing wedding information and details to each other for approval. The date was set for 2 months hence, in an ironic twist, on the original date that Lorelei had reserved for her and Luke to get married; June 5th.

The day after Jess proposed, they had gone to Stars Hollow to share the news of their engagement and after the expected squealing and celebrating with Lorelei, she had almost literally dragged Rory to a bridal shop to try on wedding gowns. Sookie and Lane had met up with them a short time later and after trying on a dozen dresses Rory had spotted the perfect one. When she came out of the dressing room the other three women had immediately fallen silent and Lorelei's eyes had filled with tears as she gazed at her daughter. Emily, rushing to the salon after a call from Rory, had walked in at that precise moment and stopped in her tracks at the sight of her granddaughter.

Rory smiled and gazed at herself in the full length mirror and knew that it was the perfect dress. It made her feel like a princess and she knew that Jess would love how she looked in it. Her grandmother had immediately taken control and summoned the sales girl. "We'll take it." Despite Lorelei and Rory's protests, Emily had won out in the end and paid for the dress. "Rory, please." She looked at her granddaughter with tears shining in her eyes. "I didn't get to do this for Lorelei. Let me do this small thing for you."

Rory hugged her grandmother and nodded her consent. She knew it meant a lot to Emily. Of course, now that she was in Afghanistan and most of the wedding details were already taken care of, it was Lorelei that Emily was driving crazy, albeit in a good way this time.

Rory remembered the shock and happiness that she felt when her mother had told her the news that she was pregnant. She knew that Luke and Lorelei wanted children together, but it still came as a shock that she was going to be a big sister. In truth, she already had Gigi as a little sister, but since Lorelei's split from Christopher, he had distanced himself from Rory as well so she had almost no contact with her younger sibling. Rory was thrilled for her mother and stepfather and just wished she could be there to share the joy and craziness of Lorelei's pregnancy. Emily and Richard were overjoyed at the news and Emily was constantly calling and visiting her daughter to check on her and give her advice.

It was enough to drive Lorelei crazy, but she had admitted to Rory that she was enjoying it somewhat since she knew this time her parents felt free to celebrate their daughter's pregnancy. Last week they had found out she was carrying a boy and she was being showered with presents for the baby from his well-meaning grandparents.

Rory shook herself free of her musings as she recalled, with a grin, Jess' comments that now since he and Rory would be getting married his new cousin would also be his brother-in-law.

The Humvee rattled along occasionally jolting Rory in her seat. Although paved, the roads had taken quite a beating after two decades of war. The road between Kabul and Kandahar was well traveled by the military and though the six hour drive wasn't precisely safe in the war-torn country, there hadn't been an attack in months and any deaths in three years.

Rory flipped her laptop back open to work on that day's copy and became engrossed in her article, glancing between her notes and the computer screen frequently. The ballistic glasses made it difficult to see the screen clearly at times, but she had become used to them and they didn't hinder her progress.

A sudden string of loud cracks startled Rory and she flipped her laptop closed as she saw the other three occupants of the Humvee almost jump to attention in their seats.

"What the fuck?" Corporal Lansing had a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel as he scanned the horizon.

Lieutenant Bryant raised his M-16 and shouted at Rory. "Gilmore, get down! Get down now!"

Rory's heart leaped into her throat as she huddled into a crouch on the floorboard between her seat and the drivers'. She watched Private Lansing scanning the roadside as more gunfire rang out. She felt the vehicle slow and her chest constricted as she heard an explosion a short distance away.

The men in the vehicle were shouting instructions to each other and aiming their weapons at the unseen enemy, but Rory couldn't make out a word they were saying through the blood pounding in her ears and the gunfire ringing out all around her.

She had been trained for this precise situation before even arriving in Afghanistan, but despite the training and the skirmishes she had already witnessed, she wasn't prepared for the grim reality of her current situation. Her thoughts flickered to her mother, Luke, her unborn baby brother, her grandparents, and friends and centered on an image of Jess.

She could see him in her minds' eye sitting at his desk in their apartment, typing away on his laptop with a pencil clenched between his teeth. She would come into the room and he would cease working and look at her with his trademark smirk and a gleam in his eye before dropping the pencil and taking her in his arms. God, how she loved that smirk, no matter how many times she teased him about it.

She kept that image of his face in her mind as all hell broke loose around her and she felt the Humvee rock with the force of an explosion before everything went black.

A/N: Yes, yes, I know I'm evil. ;-) Remember, reviews are delicious!


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